Bonny, I know you want him with you always, but I hope you can find peace with whatever happens. Think how very lucky you are to have had him this long.

I'm impressed by my own panic. I live firmly in the 'everything happens as it should' school of thought, but in the middle of typing my ma request post, I started shaking and crying...overcome with the idea of the anchor in my universe shifting so dramatically.

The truth is, I'd much rather he go than suffer. When I saw him last week, he still seemed so strong, but there was an air of deflation around him and I started to worry. When I got the news from Niki, it was as if that hunch was confirmed and it is time to armor up and be ready. I just didn't feel ready enough, if that makes sense.

I'm borrowing a car and going up this afternoon as soon as I finish with my clients to help Niki get ready for Gordon's son to visit tomorrow.

I'm sad for her, if this is it, but quite selfiishly, I'm sad that when Gordon goes, Niki will move to CA to be with her daughters who have children.

I have been so blessed with them. They are such a signficant part of my life, and that will never change of course. But...

---

{{{bonny}}}

~mas to you and your family (of choice - the one that counts).

---

{{{bonny}}} Holding Gordon, Niki, and you in my thoughts today. You wrote a touching tribute to him.

---

Karma's a bitch

Nonsense. You are clairvoyant. Tummy~ma to ya. Did you take today off as well?

So far no one here has complained. I still feel like a bad employee.

Suzi, I learned in HS psych class that guilt is a "useless emotion" because you fret over things that are done and can not be changed. In this case, you are fretting about the weather, and it's effects on daily life. Should you have stayed up all night turning over the engine every 2 hours to keep the battery alive? No! You'd be groggy and sleepy and of little use, and folks would be like "you did what all night? are you insane?". Should you risk life/limb to drive in bad conditions when you can work from home? No. You got stuff done at home. That is what makes telecommuting so wonderful. You are not a bad employee!!!

Me on the other hand. Ya. Avoiding work. But then again, I'll be here until midnight or so.

---

I'm avoiding writing a paper right now AIFG.

(Or not, because I don't have the time to avoid it).

Good luck with the Genesis play! And whitefont the spoilers!

---

Thanks omnis. You are right. I can't change the past, just move forward. And no one seems to be worried about it, just me and my overactive brain.

I think I've been so stressed about the move and the house and all the other stuff, now that things are settling down, my brain doesn't know what to do with itself.

I just didn't feel ready enough, if that makes sense.

Bonny, that makes perfect sense and I don't know anyone who was every "ready", no matter how certain the situation.

---

A little catching up to do!:

Colon~ma for your father, Kathy.

Job~m, ChiKat!

Health~ma for your dad, Calli.

Bonny, may your honorary father have what he needs the most at this time.

---

then I'm a unicorn that flies and shits money.

I've been looking for you!!

---

I have meetings scheduled from noon-3:30 today. That is not on!

---

bonny, I'm sending all my good thoughts for the best outcome for Gordon, and for peace and grace to him and everyone who loves him. And an extra {{{you}}}. It sounds like they have both been such a boon to your life and your heart; no wonder you want to keep that goodness close and present.

And I've been thinking all the good thoughts I can for Kristin's student and her sister, and Kathy's and Calli's fathers. Everybody, please, just stay put and submit with grace to sticking around here and being loved and doted on, will you?

And tons of job~ma to ChiKat and budget~ma to the district. How long do you have to live in limbo before they announce a decision?

ION, I made it through almost the first hour of work this morning convinced it was Wednesday, dammit. Sad now.

---