I'm sorry, Shir.

I was raised by a mother who craves drama, and would create it if none were organically present. And so that's what I came to expect from my life -- if there were no drama, then Something Was Wrong.

Yep. This was my existence as well.

I. HATE. Fucking. DRAMA.

This too. Thankfully, I recognized from a really early point why, exactly, I hated it. Didn't mean I didn't have some HORRIBLE habits because of it. I mean, if arguments between loved ones weren't full-out BLOW UPS, then clearly, there was No Love There, because if you really loved, if you really cared, there was drama.

I also grew up with the extremely misguided idea that if I acquiesced to someone else's viewpoint or acknowledged that they were right in a personal argument, then I had "lost." I was caving in and had no spine.

I'm still working on this one. Part of it is exacerbated by my own highly competitive nature and by the fact that I was raised to see everything as a competition.

I've been accused of being cold-blooded in the face of bad things, but my reaction is based on the few seconds of "Well, that utterly sucks. Let's see what we need to do." I want to have screaming hysterics, but they're not practical. I kind of envy people who can indulge in histrionics, because they're obviously not the people who have to clean up the mess.

And oh GOD, so very much this. SO much this. I'm like this and I desperately envy people who not only have the histrionic meltdowns, but I can't quite figure out why they always wind up with the sympathy as well. Like they're allowed to have the meltdowns. I have this fear that if I ever did, I'd be dismissed as some hysterical whack job who can't hold her shit together.

Go figure.

Because it deserves its own post, {{{Shir}}}

I'm glad it was all as peaceful as it could be.

{{{Shir}}} I'm so sorry. It just sucks that your life is so filled with personal tragedies at the same time the world seems to be going to shit around you.

I'm like this and I desperately envy people who not only have the histrionic meltdowns, but I can't quite figure out why they always wind up with the sympathy as well.

I don't envy the histrionics, but I do envy the sympathy. People tend to assume that because I'm not crying, I don't need a hug.

t gives Jess a hug

I also grew up with the extremely misguided idea that if I acquiesced to someone else's viewpoint or acknowledged that they were right in a personal argument, then I had "lost." I was caving in and had no spine.

OMG! This is my husband's family! Arguments with them were operatic epics, and they were baffled by me because my family style was icy Yankee disdain. Displeasure was shown by failure to engage, not by whanging the saucepans at each other.

Now, how do I resolve this after 23 years of marriage to a man who fails to see that challenging his worldview is a sign of love?

Yay!

[er, that was to Amiee]

You know what's nummy? When a cat who has been snuggled up on a heat grate, comes to snuggle up on you after the furnace has stopped blowing the warm air.

I declare nummy warm kitty hugs to all who want them!