deep breath

I caught up. Friday we were out of town helping with a benifit --pretty much 10 am to 1AM. No interest in internet. Saturday - got home sat for an hour - went to a party . sometime while were at the party, the lights went out. lights were only out for an hour, but we just got internet an hour ago.

Teppy, DH has done the same for me. Married, yet I still felt embarrassed. Eventually, I stopped cringing when I though about it. Hope it all settles soon.

Daniel , I am glad to here you are not hurt, but I am sorry you are not well.

I wish everyone that is cold- a little more warmth. It is not really freezing here, but it is a tad colder than we like it.

I had a boyfriend that wrote romantic poems and letters. DH talks that way, but not as flowery. I have always preferred a DH's version. And I appreciate the sentiments more as we have been together longer. However, I am not sentimental or flowery. A love poem to me would include lines like " I love you so much I'd take out the garbage on a cold night, so you can stay warm"

Still, just being in London adds that touch of class, I feel.

Oh, definitely.

The modern world and Sex in the City aren't ruining anyone's chances at being the romantic lead. Movies are contrived. They're meant to manipulate us so that we will turn our hard-earned money over to the movie studios. So they pick the "romantic" plots that make everyone sigh and wish "Why doesn't Lloyd Dobler stand outside MY window with a boom box???"

I think what's interesting about this scenario, and often ignored when we discuss the effect, is that they also make some men sigh and wish "Why can't I work up the guts to stand outside her window with a boom box?"

Which is possibly worse. Because at least if you're wishing for Lloyd to come all you can really do is wait. If you're wishing to become Lloyd, there's always the chance you'll try - and make an ass of yourself.

I'm not sure how this conversation got here. Carry on!

Like Richard Belzer says about Paris, where he has a chateau, "Even taking a shit in Paris is cool, because it's Paris."

This is awesome.

I hope everybody who is sick gets better quickly, and I hope nobody else gets sick at all. Ever.

wrod, JZ, on our man Lloyd. Personally, the romcom trope that irks me most is the idea that if you don't like somebody, it's misplaced sexual tension.

A friend of my brother's was convinced in S4 Buffy that Giles and Professor Walsh were going to get together, for exactly this reason. After she got skewered Brendan was very supportive. "They could still get together! She could become a zombie! Theirs could be an undying love!"

No one plowed our driveway today. So, TCG is having to shovel through the huge snow bank that the road plows left and I'm sitting uselessly in the car.

For a hardcore romantic, I'm not much for poetry. Which is kind of sad, actually. But I do love the gestures. I love the grand, roses and champagne, gestures. But perhaps even more, I love the small ones-- like Lewis knowing I'm fighting a migraine and bringing me a cheese stick because he's thinking maybe a little protein will help.

Sort of how I love fine lingerie, but give me flannel sheets and inside pants and I feel like I'm sinking in luxury.

I'm probably guilty of telling TCG too often how much I love him. I want him to know that despite my too often depressed moods that I am truly grateful and still in awe of the fact that I have him in my life. He isn't as good with words, but he is still very good at showing me how much he loves me.

But I do love the gestures. I love the grand, roses and champagne, gestures. But perhaps even more, I love the small ones-- like Lewis knowing I'm fighting a migraine and bringing me a cheese stick because he's thinking maybe a little protein will help.

Without the small, everyday thoughtful moments, grand gestures are hollow. In fact, I would venture to say, though I have never been married so what do I know, that it is easier for a marriage to succeed where the small, ordinary caring moments flourish and grand gestures are non-existent, than for a marriage to succeed on all grand gestures and no small kindnesses. Grand gestures are icing on cake - if the cake is foul, it doesn't matter how great the icing is; but, really good cake goes down real nice without any frosting at all.

TCG is so much better with the little things than the grand gestures. I think the grand gestures make him nervous, like he is going to do the wrong thing. However, on a daily basis he is a rock. Right now he is a sore, cranky, snow shovelling rock, but he's still a rock. I plan on expressing my love tonight by leaving him to his bad mood instead of trying to cheer him up, which he hates.

It's the very rare modern man (outside of the movies) who's willing to say, with or without poetry, "We haven't known each other long, but you amaze me. Since we met, I've been unable to think of anything but you. You are beautiful and funny and inspire me to great heights. If I could see you every day, I would."

This made my jaw drop. It is a difficult edge to walk, but sometimes these things do need to be said, somehow. In the right context.

Poem needs to be good. Heartfelt often qualifies. Delivery is not important, but doing it in a private way is.

also raising my emotional intelligence level: what JZ and Teppy said.

and

In fact, I would venture to say, though I have never been married so what do I know, that it is easier for a marriage to succeed where the small, ordinary caring moments flourish and grand gestures are non-existent, than for a marriage to succeed on all grand gestures and no small kindnesses. Grand gestures are icing on cake - if the cake is foul, it doesn't matter how great the icing is; but, really good cake goes down real nice without any frosting at all.

I love this thread.

thanks for the support last night. It was a craptastic end to a good day.

Shir - all the peace~ma in the world headed your way.