I'm with Nora in the whole concern-for-this-not-fucking-with-your-head thing.

Well, he's not purposefully fucking with my head. It's just my brain being my brain. BUT, I did e-mail him this morning and tell him that I didn't want to e-mail/text/IM/talk/see each other till after Jan 1. I think that will help.

Oh, I'm not trying to demonise the guy. But if it were me (which I realise it isn't!) I think I'd find it a head-go-boom situation - which is to say, I don't think it's particularly YOUR brain being your brain. There may well be some people out there who would be all teflon-skinned about it, and well done them, but most of us need a bit of a transition period to deal with the adjustment from intimacy to not.

I think you're dealing with the whole breakup thing in a very emotionally mature and wise fashion, and I continue to be impressed by your sense and decency. Go team vw!

The Shir and omnis audis Show is so much fun to watch.

Sure, I wake up to find I am a show. I'm used to watching, the voyeur, the Sound Guy at the back of the house, not the entertainment on stage. At least I'm entertaining friends, I suppose. And the extra blood flow to the cheeks should help keep the face warm outside.

seekrit message to Shir: um. Hi! :: wink :: t shy (ya, it will take a lot more to close that tag)

Well, he's not purposefully fucking with my head

Wanting to come over and play with your dog? Fucking with your head, even if he doesn't *think* it is.

I don't mean to be unkind, but it doesn't seem healthy to break up with someone and then just days later ask to come over and play with their dog. Because -- no. That's what breaking up IS. It means you don't see them, talk to them, or spend time with their pets, no matter how cute the pets are. And it's an unhealthy way to extend his connection with you.

But mostly I worry about *you,* vw, because *you're* my friend and CBD is not. He's extending his connection with you in this "Oh, I miss your *dog*! Can I come over and play with your dog?" way. It's sneaky and emotionally dishonest, even if he doesn't realize (or will admit) that it is.

I didn't want to e-mail/text/IM/talk/see each other till after Jan 1.

Does that include dog time?

Well, he's not purposefully fucking with my head. It's just my brain being my brain. BUT, I did e-mail him this morning and tell him that I didn't want to e-mail/text/IM/talk/see each other till after Jan 1. I think that will help.

VW, I admit, I don't know you nearly as well (i.e. as long) as most on the board. But I do know you've come a long way in the time I've known you. Your brain seems to be firing on all cylinders as far as I can tell. Break ups are stressful and emotional. Especially when one party doesn't want the break up. You do what you need to do. We got your back.

FWIW, I think the radio silence thru new years is a good idea. As mentioned above, it gives both parties time to just think without any lobbying. At 12:01 on Jan-1, you can send a text saying "Happy New Year!" or "Happy New Year! Always, your FRIEND" or something like that, to either allow a door to be re-opened, or to firmly keep the door closed as it is. Or just say bugger off, kick up the heels and have fun, and wash him out of your hair, as the old song goes.

Either way, I just wanted to pipe up and say, I wish my brain worked that good in past break ups.

Does that include dog time?

Yes, it does.

Your idea of time apart until after New Years sounds good, vw.

Gronklies. I'm trying to motivate myself to get up and get dressed and go work on some research. As usual, this isn't working so well.

I've also got to go get x-rays of my shoulder done sometime this week, which really means either today or tomorrow. Research today, x-rays tomorrow morning?

Ok. I'm off to therapy then party insanity. Please send sanity~ma at 3:00 Eastern time. I would SO appreciate it.

Interesting article in the Times. Not exactly a "feel-good" article, but maybe a "at least something good came out of it" article? The mother of one of the people killed on Pan Am Flight 103 left her estate to the schools he went to: Harvard, Choate, and a middle school in NYC that serves "academically talented, economically disadvantaged boys and girls." The last of the settlement money just came in, and it's a total of over $2,000,000 to the school -- practically their entire endowment

I used to live around the corner from that school, my old building is in the picture. Those kids played with my dog every morning when I walked her. And an old friend of mine lost his sister Gretchen on that flight. The world, she is so small.