I have a new tagline.

"Santa Claus singing on naughty snow, Reindeer ringing in the mistletoe. The manger's on fire, The holly's a-glow. Hear the baby Jesus "cryin' ho! ho! ho!" -Stephen Colbert, Another Christmas Song

Yummy treats and L-word! I wanna go to GC's. Sounds better than goldfish crackers and Friday Night Lights.

Laga, I'm with other people here. Maybe I'm biased, since usually I'm the side that people are not telling the whole story to, fearing that might upset me, and that's usually what hurt most. From my POV, it seems like they can't trust me to handle certain things, hence assuming I'm a fragile porcelain doll.

Humm. Now I wonder if it might be, after all, a good idea to tell some of them about some of the shit I had to go through in my life. Maybe I won't look so fragile anymore (and here comes the irony - I only have 3 other people in my life, very best friends knowing everything about me (besides my nuclear family). I don't tell because this info seems to continue to distress and hurt others, and that distresses me).

Also, there's kick-ass music in the online radio station I usually listen to, but I can't listen to it at the moment because there's a sleeping person in my room (my CouchSurfing guest) and my headphones are far away (I won't get up from that chair, dammit!). I'mma good host. Well, not good enough to also clean the kitchen, but good enough to consider it.

Humm, maybe I'll do it either way. My place is starting to lose shape.

Morning, all.

Morning, Shir.

Morning Shir.

Hey guys! Why aren't you sleeping yet?

Why aren't you sleeping yet?

(a) Because it is not yet midnight here

(b) Because I am dealing with mad (ex-)friend drama. I want the situation to all work out wonderfully, but...it is not. And I have no idea how to answer her emails. And it is making me stressy and sad. And even more paranoid about the future. And suspecting that the next few weeks are going to suck a hell of a lot. Doom doom doom. Gloom gloom gloom.

Oh, meara. Been to this place.

In my case, I found that these situations tend to warp strictly around the other person's feelings and expectations. Soon, the whole world (as in your whole world) seems to revolve around them, until you'll get to the point where the both of you are comfortable with.

But this doesn't always happen. And it's important to let go and live with the idea that not everything will get a shiny ending, or else it will resolve in weeks, months and years or waltzing along the "sorry I'm stepping on your toes, but this is important to me" theme.

Of course, my foot might be way into my mouth and I'm dead wrong about your case.

Well, the problem is, I know I did her wrong...but I'm only so willing to apologize for it. And she seems to want me to throw myself at her feet and say I was so wrong and she was so right and I will absent myself from all social gatherings in favor of her until she feels comfortable, etc etc.

And I'm willing to do a bit of give--I do know that I wasn't cool, but I ALSO think she overreacted, and the event in question happened three months ago, and while I'm willing to cede a bit of comfort to her (and was VERY willing to do so at the time)...at some point she just needs to get over it.

Sigh. Stupid girls. Stupid lesbians. Stupid dating.

{meara}