Sounds like she wants immediate yes's to every request, and you just figure out what to drop after, cause her lightest whim is more important than any plan or other commitment you have made.

yes. I think that she thinks that as my mother, she should be more important than anything else, so any other commitment doesn't matter, even if it's just changing her printer cartridge.

I think Typoboy states it well --but I might use the word Responsibilities as opposed to commitment. I'm guessing that because you are single , she doesn't think you have importatn stuff to do.

I might even make some sort of comment about how well she ( and dad) taught you to be responsible ( even if it isn't really true).

and bTW, a commitment to a friend or yourself -- the responsible thing to do is keep it.

Lots of ma~~ to the family core, Raq.

I think it's time to play hardball. "You and dad raised me to be the kind of person who understands responsiblity and I'm just trying to live up to that."

Crap. The online appointment scheduling thing for Student Health isn't working. I so don't feel like dealing with actual people on the phone. But I need better drugs -- I'm up to the limit on OTC stuff, and it's not even taking the edge off the pain.

Vortex, how about: I don't want to say 'yes' to you before I'm sure I can do it, and I don't want to have to say 'no' to someone else if I already said 'yes' to them.

I'm guessing that because you are single , she doesn't think you have importatn stuff to do.

that's basically it. She just doesn't conceive that you can have commitments in your free time if you aren't married.

You may have to put up with an over reaction for a bit. She isn't in the best place right now-- and she just might not hear very well right now.

find your words and stick to them. Don't be a fraid to get off the phone, or even let the answering machine get the phone.

sigh ... today started out fairly well, but went downhill.

Got back from a week-plus away and someone else finished up our December issue and sent it to the printer. All well and good ... only now we don't have a file of the final version. I tried downloading from the printer's FTP site, but (a) that usually doesn't work well and (b) the display said it would take over 18 hours to download. So now I'm trying two things - getting the printer to upload it to my office's FTP site ('cause they can zip the damn thing) and have tech support see if they can restore it. Otherwise, I'll have to redo everything she did.

Vortex, I can sympathize somewhat - right now I'm feeling put-upon because my mother and sister insist that I come to them every Christmas. It's an inconvenience - I have to rent a car and drive up because they don't have any public transport near them. And my sister's in retailing, so she has to work late Christmas Eve and be back at work early the day after Christmas. So there's a certain logic. But there's this insistance that I come to them, and do it on their schedule, and comply with all the "traditions" that they find important. For instance, I'll throw ornaments on the tree (and I might have to set it up beforehand) because they don't have the time or interest to do it, but it HAS to be done. And, although they insist I go up there, once I'm there ... they ignore me. My mother will lie around watching TV, my sister will be exhausted and sleep most of the time. So why do they want me there? Sometimes I really hate all this Xmas nonsense.

Toddson, develop a minor but wretchedly infectious illness just before you're due to leave.