Vortex, how about: I don't want to say 'yes' to you before I'm sure I can do it, and I don't want to have to say 'no' to someone else if I already said 'yes' to them.

I'm guessing that because you are single , she doesn't think you have importatn stuff to do.

that's basically it. She just doesn't conceive that you can have commitments in your free time if you aren't married.

You may have to put up with an over reaction for a bit. She isn't in the best place right now-- and she just might not hear very well right now.

find your words and stick to them. Don't be a fraid to get off the phone, or even let the answering machine get the phone.

sigh ... today started out fairly well, but went downhill.

Got back from a week-plus away and someone else finished up our December issue and sent it to the printer. All well and good ... only now we don't have a file of the final version. I tried downloading from the printer's FTP site, but (a) that usually doesn't work well and (b) the display said it would take over 18 hours to download. So now I'm trying two things - getting the printer to upload it to my office's FTP site ('cause they can zip the damn thing) and have tech support see if they can restore it. Otherwise, I'll have to redo everything she did.

Vortex, I can sympathize somewhat - right now I'm feeling put-upon because my mother and sister insist that I come to them every Christmas. It's an inconvenience - I have to rent a car and drive up because they don't have any public transport near them. And my sister's in retailing, so she has to work late Christmas Eve and be back at work early the day after Christmas. So there's a certain logic. But there's this insistance that I come to them, and do it on their schedule, and comply with all the "traditions" that they find important. For instance, I'll throw ornaments on the tree (and I might have to set it up beforehand) because they don't have the time or interest to do it, but it HAS to be done. And, although they insist I go up there, once I'm there ... they ignore me. My mother will lie around watching TV, my sister will be exhausted and sleep most of the time. So why do they want me there? Sometimes I really hate all this Xmas nonsense.

Toddson, develop a minor but wretchedly infectious illness just before you're due to leave.

Actually, I think I'm developing arthritis (it runs in the family) and it looks like driving for three hours is going to be painful (although that won't suffice for my family - several years ago I started a job in October - which meant I hadn't accumulated any vacation time - and had a raging sinus infection and my mother threw what amounted to a temper tantrum when I said I couldn't go up; she insisted that my boss would let me take the time off if I said it was to spend Christmas with her).

Y'all make me happy that my family is the way it is. I'm sure my mom would be thrilled if we spent xmas with them. But she gets why we don't. ( hate flying this time of year -- and I love traveling) And even DH's family seem to get it. ( CT is too cold!) And none of them would throw a temper tantrum. That's one of those things that would keep me from visiting. I just don't do drama.

and in important days -- someday I will remember our anniversary without looking in my ring. I thought it was Tuesday, but it is Wednesday ( which is better). Too funny that DH remembers, and I don't.

she insisted that my boss would let me take the time off if I said it was to spend Christmas with her

Yeah, he's go "Oh, it's Toddson's mother. I'm sorry, I didn't realize."

you know, I worked Retail for years and I didn't sleep all day -- Esp not if someone was coming from out of town.

I saw this dress when shopping the other night and am still coveting it. [link] I didn't dare try it on in case I really loved it - is expensive!