Overheard in our house:

"Thank you for not killing the child this morning."

"Upon reflection, I think it was the wise decision."

"You know that's going on b.org, right?"

"Ayup." -> gives sox the stinkeye.

Barb, that's a tough situation. I'd say, stand by Nate until given better evidence against him. I say this, not as a parent, but as someone who remembers being a kid.

Well, the school called this morning. They're saying that his part in it was to the "extreme roughhousing" end of the spectrum. He threw no punches but definitely was involved. Which falls in line with what he told me with the exception of when, exactly, he got involved.

He's serving an in-school suspension where he'll do his work in a quiet environment. All things considered, it's not bad, but I'm Not Pleased.

And because it deserves its own post,

Happy Birthday, Sparky!

Happy Birthday Sparky!

Barb, it sounds like things have been settled appropriately - Nate wasn't punching, but he got involved. And judging from how he handled the girl picking on his friend a while back, it sounds like punching might be his LAST resort, instead of his first.

And GG, isn't teaching drama to teenagers kind of redundant?

Man, this having two cars again is great!

I got up, showered, had coffee...sat around and read...had some more coffee...got Aims up, got Emeline up, got Emeline breakfasted...had some more coffee, read...got Emeline dressed and her chores done...drank coffee, read...glanced at clock, kissed Aims and Em goodbye, moseyed out to car and came to work.

This is a fantastic change from the former get up, get showered, get Aims up, get Em up, rush Em through breakfast, rush Em into clothes, deal with tantrum, rush Em through chores, Aims rushes to get dressed, get all out door and into single car, rush to get Em on bus, rush Aims to work, rush me to work, curse the lack of sufficient coffee-drinking at home, wonder what fucking book am I reading these days anyway? routine.

Truly, we live in a Utopian age.

See that person waving from the next torture chamber? That's me.

Waving from across the hall.

Okay, I have to say: (1) I had no idea so many other people here have full-on, hyperventilating, weeping hysterically, trying-not-to-injure-oneself, absolutely-fucking-BROKEN panic attacks on a daily basis.

(2) How the FUCK do you all -- other daily full-on panic attack people -- deal with them and manage to hold down a full-time job? Or even get out of bed without losing your shit totally? Because I can't figure it out, and I'm tired of this happening every day. Especially before I've even had breakfast.

Seriously, are y'all as nonfunctional as I feel? Or am I just an exceptionally WEAK goddamn person? I mean, G_G, how in the hell do you teach and interact with hundreds of teenagers all day? I can't even talk to my boyfriend without losing my shit totally.

You know, all I'm doing is bitching. I'm going to take a break until I get my head on straight.

(This is not flouncing or goodbye cruel internets; it's me recognizing a pattern of whining and bitching and even if I *think* the interaction is helping me [which it probably isn't, because I cry harder every time I post], it's cannot possibly be doing anybody else any good, because oh my god, TIRESOME, she's posting about her panic attacks AGAIN and why doesn't she just get some goddamn drugs already?)

I don't think that isolating myself is the answer, but this continual whining isn't, either.

So, hopefully my doctor can come up with something that will fix me, and I'll be nicer to be around.

Tep, y'know we love you and just want you to do whatever it takes to feel better, right? And if that means venting and bitching or wrapping yourself in a blankie or whatever-- all we want is for you to feel better.

There are some pretty goddamn wide shoulders around here. Lots of leaning possibilities and it doesn't make you any less worthy or valid or strong for having to do a little leaning.

Thanks for the happy birthday wishes. I am being lazy this morning (although I did work out) and this afternoon I'm being lazier by having a facial and mani/pedi.

t gets on mom-voice

Tep, if it's causing you more upheaval and bad feelings to feel like you're "complaining" all the time, and you feel like a break is something you need, then so be it. (I do not use the quotes to diminish your feelings. I use the quotes as it was your word.) Take what you need for yourself to get to the place where you are not feeling so buried and overwhelmed. But please know that we love you and support you and absolutely do not want to you to stop talking to us about how you are or aren't handling things right now. You are an integral part of us and have contributed to the support and love of so many of us, that it's only fair that we do the same for you in your time of unsuredness.

We don't like seeing you unhappy and want to help in whatever way we can.