P-C, I might not be able to come up Sunday, and I am PISSED about the reason why. I'm waiting for a call back from my dad, who called me yesterday and said "There's a family party for you and Tim on Sunday. Make a slideshow of your wedding pictures, and what food can you bring?" And my reaction was basically the dog head-tilt, as if to say "The FUCK?"

I asked, "Uh, there's a party on Sunday? As in, less than a week away? When was this planned? Because I already have plans for Sunday."

And he was exceptionally emphatic about the fact that, since I "neglected to invite his family to the wedding"**, they wanted to have a party to celebrate, and when people throw you a party, you do NOT turn it down, especially when you already excluded them from your wedding.***

I tried to politely say that it would have been nice to see if Tim and I were free, because people do make plans, like the plans I ALREADY HAD. And Dad said, "Well, break them. It's not right to ignore my family twice."

There were tears and some swearing on my part. Seriously, even if I hadn't had plans, giving someone less than a week's notice that an event was planned, and telling them to make a slideshow of pictures and bake some desserts is FAIRLY SHORT NOTICE. But then there's the part where I DO have plans, with someone from out of town. (When Dad asked who, he said, "You already saw him in San Francisco. You don't need to see him again." I swear to god, he said that.)

But I finally got him to agree to call his siblings and find out if we can move it to next weekend. What the hell?

So, I am pissed, and might not be able to come up. My dad has put me in a really awkward situation right now, and is piling on the guilt.

**I didn't "neglect to invite his family to the wedding." When we were planning, HE told me that his siblings and their spouses (who are all in varying degrees of poor health) wouldn't want to drive to the wedding, because it would be an hour or more drive for all of them. I asked him to double-check with them before we sent out invitations. When I followed up, Dad said, "Yeah, they aren't going to want to drive all that way."

And then when we had sent out invitations (and invited other people to take up the spaces of my aunts and uncles), he was all, "Why aren't you inviting my family?" I told him I was going on what HE told me, and he said, "Well, I was only guessing. They might want to come." But by that point, we had 50 RSVPs, and the capacity was 50. There were more tears on my part, because I felt genuinely shitty for not inviting my aunts and uncles, but I was going on what Dad told me!

Which is why, if they're having this party, I can't get out of it. My best hope is that they'll move it.

***I didn't exclude them on purpose. See above.

(And I'm NOT ungrateful that my dad's family wants to have a party! I'm afraid I'm coming off like a giant bag of dicks here. I'm really touched that they want to have a party, and I am always happy to see them. But I'm PISSED at my dad for pulling this. My best guess is that it's been planned for a while and he forgot to tell me about it, because his memory is not the best lately. But it still puts me in a lousy position.)

(When Dad asked who, he said, "You already saw him in San Francisco. You don't need to see him again." I swear to god, he said that.)

He sounds like my dad!

Ugh, what a mess. You know I understand if you can't make it. I hope they can move the Obligaparty.

I know you understand, because you're nice and don't impose fun upon people! (I really would enjoy a family party under other circumstances, but my dad doesn't understand that you don't drop something on people at the last minute. Plus he's suddenly demonstrating previously unidentified reserves of guiltmongering.)

I'll let you know once I hear back from him. Fingers crossed!

OMG, Tep. Your dad, seriously.

I do get it -- I think a lot of it is that he's starting to forget things (his phone was turned off last year because he forgot to pay the phone bill 2 months in a row). He forgot to check with his siblings about the wedding, and the way he phrased it, I thought he had talked to them. I should have been more explicit and asked if he actually talked to them, but I didn't know I needed to be more explicit about things. Now I know.

And my best guess is he forgot to tell me about the party until yesterday. No one plans a family-sized party in 6 days.

I get it, but he doesn't need to be a dick about it.

I mean, now I'm really glad I got to see you when you were here (and gave you your Arrow bag)! But I could go for seeing you twice in one year. It would not be excessive.

I agree! We could see each other in 2 different time zones!

And I suspect you would make an excellent moviegoing companion for Thor.

Whoa, Teppy, I wold be PISSED. I would be not-going-to-the-party pissed. Yeah, maybe your dad is getting forgetful, and now you know you have to double-check everything he says. Still. Is he the ONLY ONE who can communicate with you? I bet not.

Family - a never ending source of love (hopefully) and utter frustration.

Calling Bay Area-istas. Sorry for the late notice, but does anyone want to get together Thursday and/or Friday night? I'll be in the East Bay Thursday night and in SF Friday night. I will have a car both nights but would rather do public transport on Friday.