This is genuinely confusing to me because I've seen so many parents who integrate their children's needs into their own and everyone gets what they need. Rather than losing something by having kids, they seem only to see parenting as gaining something in their lives.

Good for them. Speaking just for myself, becoming a parent did not magically transform me into a completely new and better person with no need for personal time or space.

As Plei says, the pros outweigh the cons by a pretty wide margin, but I can count the number of times I've been alone in my own home in the past year on one hand. The number of times I've been able to say a spontaneous yes to after-work drinks with friends. The number of movies I've seen in a theatre.

Those of us who remember being self-sufficient on trips probably were, but we're not gonna remember how we were at 20 months or 4 years old when we needed the most attention. There's a big difference between under-fives and older kids.

A *huge* yes to this. I remember being self-sufficient on 18-hour car trips too, but since all my memories include at least 2 other kids in the car, I'm clearly not remembering the years when I was a toddler with the attention span of a goldfish with ADD and a bladder the size of a leaky peanut.

Having had Hubby's health go to hell these past few years, I'm more grateful than ever that I'm not dealing with young adults at this time in my life. I would never have been able to properly cope with both teenagers and a man whose life expectations are going to hell.

Excuse me while I express my devout and sincere thanks to a merciful universe again.

We had our first cat on cat encounter. It was an accident, but I decided to let it play out. It did not go well. Jake was not thrilled to see a new cat. Clio was as cool as a cucumber.

Now Jake is growing and hissing at me...and hiding. I'm glad he's declawed. I've forgotten how stressful this is.

I was trying to watch Obama, but mac wants full attention, so I am Tivoing.

for those of you on flickr or facebook - a new mac video is up.

Those are fine, it's the touchscreens in Virgin planes that bug me. People do not seem to get that jabbing the screen=moving the headrest.

I don't remember which airline I was on, but on a recent flight I had to stand up and loom over the back of my seat to terrorize a boy who was JABBING REALLY HARD on a touch screen video game. I just wanted to read my book without head trauma.

I think the poor kitty is scared and feeling threatened. He sort of lunged at me, but totally backed down when I stood my ground. Then went back under the chair he was hiding under.

Ah, Sue. I'm sorry you are joining me in in the cat wars. It does get better (though mine are still being separated at all times when awake.) MK and Loki get on fine. Devi....well, they are engaging in play (Loki) and...well, she can't eat him...under the door.

This relationship will take while. Devi's asleep at my feet, Loki asleep down my fleece and MK is trying to find a spot on the futon.

Raising kids take effort. In different ways to different people, and with different exchanges that have different values to the individual. For every person who loves the newborn phase as I do, there's one who finds it rather a dull phase, dominated by just keeping this creature fed and clothed (like my dad does.) He loves his grandkids (and kids) no less in their newborn phase, just finds the joys of older ages more personally satisfying. Teens still make me want to hide.

Sue, just spend time quietly with him and then engage with play or food with the other cats gone. Loki is quite intimidated by Dev, and when he's been freaked after an encounter, I just have to be unthreatening and available and he gets over it.

Huh -- my former Big Boss just showed up on the local news channel. Random!

And I now realize I skipped the Obama advertorial completely.

i'm watching it right now!

I'm sure it will be up on the web soon.