Dentist~ma for Shir, job~ma for Tom and surgery~ma for Tep's Boy. That's too damn much for one week, I call a moratorium on life-sucks events. Hear me, Universe?

::shakes wee fist::

Every time I find my OTB, it ends up badly. It seems when I gain weight, the next size up in no longer the OTB and I have to go find a new one just for that size.

I want to buy 10 of them, but at $60 a pop, I don't have the luxury. Maybe I'll splurge and get 2. I'm going to the outlet mall with my mom tonight, I'll see if I can find them there.

Vortex, that would be me. Unfortunately, the car will be in the shop over the weekend. The head gasket blew and the intake manifold has to be taken apart, yadda yadda 1k scary cakes.

I hope the interview went well for Tom, the dentist went well for Shir, the gift-finding's going well for Andi, the boy sails through his surgery and the calm descends on Teppy.

Do we have any Ohioans? I just got this email, which I am happy to forward if anyone is interested:

Eddie Izzard, one of the fore-most Stand-Up Comedians of his generation, will interview and moderate a Q & A with Dennis Kucinich, America's most courageous Congressman, in Cleveland Ohio on Nov 2nd at the PlayhouseSquare. Questions will span from American politics, to entertainment, to the world at large. Come laugh, ask questions, and be entertained by two amazing minds at work.

Oh, god damn it. I can make the drive in 3 1/2 hours, but not while my boyfriend is recovering from double-hernia surgery.

I dislike these past 7 days. Intensely.

I can make the drive in 3 1/2 hours, but not while my boyfriend is recovering from double-hernia surgery.

oh no, is he okay?

I can make the drive in 3 1/2 hours, but not while my boyfriend is recovering from double-hernia surgery.

oh no, is he okay?

Yeah -- it's a situation where he noticed a bulge (because he's SO SKINNY, any little bulge was obvious), and went to the doctor. He didn't have pain or even discomfort, so the hernia was apparently not very severe. But the doctor discovered one on the other side, and strongly suggested that The Boy get them repaired now, before they have a chance to turn into something worse.

But, because he's who he is, he came home Monday -- 3 days after I had my total lose-my-shit panic attack -- and said, "You know, I might not come out of the anesthesia. It's been known to happen. But I figured, it wouldn't be so bad."

WHAT.

First, in his defense, he didn't mean that "wouldn't be so bad" meant he'd rather die during surgery than live with me. Not at all. He has depression himself, and as a result, has morbid thoughts like that from time to time.

But THREE DAYS AFTER A PANIC ATTACK??? You just blithely tell me that you might die but it would be okay? FOR YOU MAYBE.

I told him that if he ever has surgery again, and he ever says anything that boneheaded to me, I'll kill him before he has a chance to die in surgery. Dude, I KNOW that there's a risk of not surviving anesthesia. But you didn't have to say it out loud to me; I was already thinking it, and thanks, I already had more than a few stressful things on my plate.

Also, this Chinese food is less than pleasing.

Dear Ms. World and Mr. Universe At Large -

Please give Steph a new week to make up for the one that sucked so fantastically. Srsly.

Love,
The Empress

PS I know we talked about you guys not trying hard enough and living up to your potential, but this is SO not what I was talking about. Lock it up, you two.

{{{Tepppy}}} Surgery~ma for the boy and calm~ma for you. FWIW, I have lost 10 lbs so far on Effexor and my therapist said that is common.

Oh my jesus, Steph. He might be a very nice boy, but as soon as he's better you should give him a whap upside the head or fifty.

Oh my jesus, Steph. He might be a very nice boy, but as soon as he's better you should give him a whap upside the head or fifty.

Holy SHIT, yes. Steal all of his high heels, too.