Oooh, I'm a human! Pick me! Pick me!

...of course, the reason I'm here in school is to get work done, not to procrastinate on the interpipe. But I do love me some procrastinating...

yay procrastination. hows it going?

Well, I planned to get up bright and early, use the gym or go for a swim, and then come in to school around, oh, 9 or 10am. Work hard, go get some lunch, and come back and work hard some more.

...in the real world, however, I arsed around, read old comics, pestered the cat, re-read my own fanfic, and did everything short of housework to put off the whole go-to-work thing. Then I went and had lunch. A leisurely lunch. With a book.

I got in to school at...4pm. Ahem. And switched on the internet.

Hopefully the marking, displays and report-writing is all going to do itself if I just sit here giving out encouraging vibes...

keep thinking positive Fay. Things have a way of working themselves out, even unconsciously

...aaand it's 5pm already, and I've accomplished...er...not very much. Ahem.

How's things with your fine self, Mr Torque?

Teppy, I hope you're feeling better today.

I'm off to do my own dad stuff. I'd appreciate any still-able-to-drive-safely~ma that might be available for him, please. I love him, but I think I could love him from Carrboro on the weekends, and this would help.

Teppy - so wishing you a better morning. Panic attacks (1) no joke; (2) not something you've done wrong. That is all I have to say. {{{*n}}}

What's the situation with your meds? I mean, I get that you've had plenty of catalysts for feeling head-go-boom, but it sounds like this has been a very scary day in terms of your reactions and stress levels and stuff - have you changed your meds lately? Or maybe your body chemistry is reacting differently to something now, and you need some different meds?

Well, in the past 3 weeks, I've been on 2 different antibiotics, both of which have anecdotal evidence of causing "mood disturbances." (I say "anectdotal" because the official prescribing information -- that piece of paper attached to the prescription, with teeny tiny font -- is from the manufacturer, and is based only on the manufacturer's data from tests in humans. "Anecdotal" means, essentially, "stuff that happened to people AFTER the drug was on the market, and even if it's happened to a LOT of people, it didn't happen in manufacturer-run tests, so whatevs.") t /pharm editor

Anyway, so there's that -- 20 days of 2 different antibiotics; 10 days of oral steroids (although my last dose of those was 7-ish days ago); and merry handfuls of other drugs for other stuff, all in an attempt to get my ear to hear and my vertigo to go.

Neither of which have been fully achieved.

And then yes, it's that time of year when everything is getting darker, and seasonal depression is a factor, but again I have to emphasize -- my depression has NEVER entailed full-on, flip-out, unable-to-leave-the-house, hyperventiliating, sobbing panic attacks.

Obviously if this lasts for more than the weekend, I'll call my doctor.

Tim came home around 9-ish last night, and just laid in bed with me. I fell asleep, but I told him that just having him there helped me be calm. I hope he was okay with the fact that I just needed him to physically be HERE (versus *doing* something; there's not anything he could have *done* other than just exist in the same geographical location as me).

I'm out of bed now, and I'm going to go over to the convention thingy in a while; there's workshop/presentations all day, and while I don't know if I can handle being there all day (for one thing -- Jesus Christ, too! many! people!), I think I can get out of the house, and driving up there isn't freaking me out like it did yesterday.

We'll see how the day goes.

Thanks for all your concern, folks. It means a LOT.

{{{*n}}}

Sox, what is "*n"?

(((Teppy))) I hope you can have some fun today.

Sox, what is "*n"?

my own early morning version of multiplying {{}}s by an infinite factor. I look to Gud or ita to make it better, because my brain is ... mush again. needs more coffee.