keep thinking positive Fay. Things have a way of working themselves out, even unconsciously

...aaand it's 5pm already, and I've accomplished...er...not very much. Ahem.

How's things with your fine self, Mr Torque?

Teppy, I hope you're feeling better today.

I'm off to do my own dad stuff. I'd appreciate any still-able-to-drive-safely~ma that might be available for him, please. I love him, but I think I could love him from Carrboro on the weekends, and this would help.

Teppy - so wishing you a better morning. Panic attacks (1) no joke; (2) not something you've done wrong. That is all I have to say. {{{*n}}}

What's the situation with your meds? I mean, I get that you've had plenty of catalysts for feeling head-go-boom, but it sounds like this has been a very scary day in terms of your reactions and stress levels and stuff - have you changed your meds lately? Or maybe your body chemistry is reacting differently to something now, and you need some different meds?

Well, in the past 3 weeks, I've been on 2 different antibiotics, both of which have anecdotal evidence of causing "mood disturbances." (I say "anectdotal" because the official prescribing information -- that piece of paper attached to the prescription, with teeny tiny font -- is from the manufacturer, and is based only on the manufacturer's data from tests in humans. "Anecdotal" means, essentially, "stuff that happened to people AFTER the drug was on the market, and even if it's happened to a LOT of people, it didn't happen in manufacturer-run tests, so whatevs.") t /pharm editor

Anyway, so there's that -- 20 days of 2 different antibiotics; 10 days of oral steroids (although my last dose of those was 7-ish days ago); and merry handfuls of other drugs for other stuff, all in an attempt to get my ear to hear and my vertigo to go.

Neither of which have been fully achieved.

And then yes, it's that time of year when everything is getting darker, and seasonal depression is a factor, but again I have to emphasize -- my depression has NEVER entailed full-on, flip-out, unable-to-leave-the-house, hyperventiliating, sobbing panic attacks.

Obviously if this lasts for more than the weekend, I'll call my doctor.

Tim came home around 9-ish last night, and just laid in bed with me. I fell asleep, but I told him that just having him there helped me be calm. I hope he was okay with the fact that I just needed him to physically be HERE (versus *doing* something; there's not anything he could have *done* other than just exist in the same geographical location as me).

I'm out of bed now, and I'm going to go over to the convention thingy in a while; there's workshop/presentations all day, and while I don't know if I can handle being there all day (for one thing -- Jesus Christ, too! many! people!), I think I can get out of the house, and driving up there isn't freaking me out like it did yesterday.

We'll see how the day goes.

Thanks for all your concern, folks. It means a LOT.

{{{*n}}}

Sox, what is "*n"?

(((Teppy))) I hope you can have some fun today.

Sox, what is "*n"?

my own early morning version of multiplying {{}}s by an infinite factor. I look to Gud or ita to make it better, because my brain is ... mush again. needs more coffee.

Good morning, Teppy, and all. Yay for Tim being there for you. I hope it is a sun shiny calm day. I'm very sensitive to just about all drugs so I can't imagine how I would react to all those antibiotics, and steroids. My sister has had vertigo and suffers from seasonal depression and both are more than burdensome. I'm so sorry that the whole pile of awful stuff led to a panic attack, which just adds to the pile.

Sort version, {{}}. I sincerely hope that today is a markedly better day.

my own early morning version of multiplying {{}}s by an infinite factor. I look to Gud or ita to make it better, because my brain is ... mush again. needs more coffee.

I thought it was something like that, but then I wondered if it was an emoticon, or something like the "less than" sign with a 3 (which is suposed to be a heart, I guess, and when I tried to type it, the board didn't like it), so I tried to figure out what "*n" was, but all I could think of was a broken tuning fork on its side, so I thought I'd ask.

Tep, I'm glad your morning is okay thus far. Take care of yourself.

I need to stop playing on the internets and get some work done, but if there's any healing ~ma to spare, a good friend's 4 year old is in Boston Children's having just had two valves replaced and a pacemaker inserted. He's awake and ordering his mother around, so that's good.