We are doing a company barbeque today, so I was up before work cleaning our grill, which I get to go home and pick up later. I also stopped to pick up burgers at one store and will go out with Alibelle later to get the rest of the food at the other stores we have to hit. Lotsa running around yet to come.
The BBQ will be fun, but it does mean I will have to come in on Sunday to do all the actual work I can't do today.
Ugh. In the process of doing my annual self-evaluation. Do not want to do!
Finding new ways to say the same old (sometimes non-) BS is really tedious. My brain; she begins to seize up.
Ugh. In the process of doing my annual self-evaluation. Do not want to do!
Maybe Allyson's boss could do it for you?
Allyson's boss is a dick and clearly a terrible manager.
Gronk. I should got get some work done, but I'm still lying on my couch. I thought maybe eating lunch would give me enough energy to get dressed and go work, but it seems not.
I'm watching a Swingtown marathon, and they keep showing eHarmony commercials, which is kind of cracking me up.
ChiKat...Break a Leg to your students.
Peaceful ~ma to you.
I couldn't work with middle schoolers...the high school freshmen are pushing my limits these days! My production is in about 5.5 weeks. I'm already thinking "So much to do!" We are doing a Home Depot run in a bit. The kids are as excited about lumber as I am. The set design we came up with rawks! (if I do say so myself)
Okay, I'm a little worried about me.
Dad was released from the hospital today (my day off), and I said I'd take him home. But before he was released, there was a whole comedy of errors in the hospital where no one knew which doctor was supposed to sign the release forms, and then when they figured that out, they couldn't find the doctor.
Well, Dad called me every time some new problem arose -- literally 6 or 7 times. I finally told him to just. please. call. me. ONLY. when. he's. for-real. being. released.
So he finally was for-real released, and he called me. While driving, I just got totally overwhelmed with all of this (there's so much more that's happened this week that just compounds this; I just haven't felt like posting about it because it would be an endless whine). I started crying, and then sobbing, and then when cars in front of me were too slow I started screaming at them, and pounding on the steering wheel hard enough to bruise my hands.
And then I realized that if I took Dad home, I'd have to drive back to my house -- by myself. And I thought, oh my god, I can't. I just can't. I can't do that. It's a long drive (~25 minutes) that's mostly highways and bridges. And I thought, I can't make that drive all by myself. I can't
So I progressed from Lost My Shit to Total Flip-out. I stopped in a parking lot and called Dad's cell and told him he had to take a taxi because I just couldn't drive. Well, mostly I sobbed and scared the shit out of him, and finally got out that I couldn't do it and I was so so so sorry but I had to go home.
So he took a taxi and I came home. I took an Ativan, and I feel -- not calmer, but less like Martin Sheen at the beginning of Apocalypse Now.
It was just too much. I can't handle everything going on right now. I used to be able to handle so much stuff, and I seem to have lost that capability. It makes me feel weak. But it is what it is.