( continues...) whine about a million times before, so I apologize for whining about it yet again.

Plus, it's NOT FUCKING TRUE that I'm all he has. I'm just the only person he's willing to call. And I resent the SHIT out of that. I've told him before when he's been (relatively) healthy that *of course* I'm going to be there for him, but the burden is too much for *just* me, and he needs to call his brothers and sisters, but he says he doesn't want to bother them and they wouldn't come anyway (which is totally untrue).

And it makes me so goddamn angry, because he isn't being fair to me. And he knows it.

So instead of calling his brothers and sisters, he just opts to call no one -- including me -- and then he plays the martyr card of "Well, YOU SAID it was a burden on you, so I didn't call you." I can't force him to call his brothers and sisters, so then either he sits in the hospital all alone, or it falls on me. And I resent the shit out of that.

I know that being all resentful makes me a lousy, shitty-ass daughter, but I'm not goddamn Mother Theresa. I can't handle this all by myself, so I came up with a solution so that I *don't* have to handle it all by myself. Problem solved! But wait! Dad's going to shoot down my solution out of sheer stubbornness!

Do I try guilt? Do I go the route of "Dad, I've told you repeatedly that the burden is too much for just me to handle. If you care about me, you don't want to see me burdened to the point of losing my shit in the ER waiting room*, right? If that's true, you can do one simple thing to help ME out -- call the rest of your goddamn family before I have a psychotic break."

I don't know if guilt will work with him, because I think all he'll do is just decide to not call anyone at all, including me, like I said above.

*(Which I did last night. Total, full-on, weeping hysterically, couldn't even form words, lost my shit. Yay fun.)

New hair:

Yeah, I'm afraid I have to validate that (a) you are very pretty and (b) that haircut looks great on you.

Steph, at this point I wonder if he's ever really going to change. I suspect the only thing that can change is how you deal with it. Some way that's less stressful. I'm not sure if that means you chug vodka from a bud vase every time he calls, but you probably need to get to some place of radical acceptance about his limits.

I would say go ahead and have him call you, since that's all it seems he is willing to do, then YOU call the others. Once they are in the loop, you all can work out a visiting schedule and stuff. Sure, it would be better if he did so, but it ain't gonna happen and you are completely right that they should be involved.

Teppy, it sucks that your dad is in the hospital again. Much medical~ma for him. Can you have a family conference with his siblings (with or without him) to develop a plan. One of the possibilities is that if he calls you for something, you then have the option to call on one of his sibs to ask them to help out. Or you can work up a rotation, so maybe he can alternate calling each of you in turn?

{{{{{Teppy}}}} Much health~ma to your dad. I'm sorry that he is so bad about communicating and taking care of his health problems. Calm~ma to you.

Dear Landlord,

I'm sorry that I left you the same message this morning that I left you last night but a non-working toilet is not a minor issue, imho.

No Love,

sj

I know that being all resentful makes me a lousy, shitty-ass daughter, but I'm not goddamn Mother Theresa.

no, it doesn't. It would be one thing if there weren't other people, but he has more than you, and he should be utiliizing those people. I feel similarly, because my mom has decided that I'm the person that she wants to spend time with, despite the fact that her sisters and a legion of other people are waiting to be there for her. (she's getting better, though) I'm sorry that he's doing this to you, I know how it feels.

Teppy - even Mother Theresa had a staff to rely on, so in that sense, no you aren't her. ijs

Steph, I agree with Scrappy-- you call the others. It doesn't have to be you flying there in a panic every time, and it seems your dad isn't going to accept the argument, so maybe he'll accept actual proof of someone showing up before/instead of you.

I know it is more or less standard operating procedure for service professionals such as furnace repair guys to be late. But when we made the appointment for them to come today at 11, they were aware I need to leave for my job at 1. So I am starting to get a little antsy about it. Now, from the sound of it, it should not take terribly long to swap out the parts that need to be replaced. But still, I am very grateful that my supervisor at today's location has some flexibility in both mind and schedule herself, that she is ok with me being late today.