My sister says if she had it to do over again she would have studied marketing instead of acting because she knew how to act what she needed was instruction in how to sell herself. She's an accountant now. I wonder if she didn't feel she'd failed at her vocation she would have a higher opinion of herself and not let men treat her like crap.

Today my car wouldn't start. Now it will start, but the locking mechanism for the driver's side door is jammed. I cannot even unlock it manually. It's going to cost $100 just to look at it. And I'm having an anxiety attack, which is stupid because it's just a car.

Classes in marketing for acting students would be brilliant. Most of the actors I know had to learn it themselves by trial and error, most of them failed (God knows I totally sucked at it, and failure to self-market and failure to capitalize on the handful of genuine open doors that appeared along the way were a huge part of what doomed me professionally), and there isn't one of them among my acquaintance who wouldn't love to jump in a way-back machine and pounce on a class like that.

Grr, sj, how irritating and frustrating. My mom's car has been doing a similar thing for one of the rear doors for over a year now, and she's just left it because, well, the other doors work and it's just more money than she can manage right now. It's definitely monumentally irritating. But not worth an anxiety attack!

Random Matilda update:

She's getting very stubborn about not being helped, and getting her dressed, undressed and changed is a struggle of late. She's also fairly unkempt on a regular basis due to her insistence on self-grooming and total inability to actually do it. The last time I approached her head with a comb, she said sternly, "Muh comb muh hair muhself!" And then proceeded to rub the flat side of the comb against the back of her head, then drop it behind the couch.

She is also very attached to Yo Gabba Gabba and has not let go of her Brobee plush toy since I gave him to her yesterday.

I have to leave my wing windows open because neither of my doors will open from the outside. But yeah, my car's 21 years old.

No, it's not just a car. It's mobility. Which is worth a wiggins or two, imo, sj.

You're right, erika. That was thoughtless of me.

No matter how fixable it is, it still sucks in the here and now, and the cost to just have it looked at bites.

Thanks, JZ. It's the driver door of a two door car, and I'm not physically capable of climbing in from the passenger side. So, my only two options are fix it or buy a new used car. I'm leaning toward the latter if this is going to be an expensive fix. A lot of things are starting to go on this car, and my money may be better spent on a car payment at this point.

As far as the anxiety attack goes, I'm really on edge right now. The depression isn't better and upping the dose on my meds brought back the insomnia. So, any little thing is setting me off, and today was just too many little things. I know I shouldn't be complaining when other people are going through so much more.

The depression isn't better and upping the dose on my meds brought back the insomnia.

What time are you taking the meds? I have horrible insomnia if I take mine anytime after noon, but if I remember to take them first thing in the morning it's hugely improved (I recently had to double my own dose).

You're not thoughtless, JZ. I hadn't even realized until I read what erika wrote that that is one of the reasons I'm freaking out. I can't walk to places, can't drive other peoples cars, and have a bitch of a time trying to rent one with hand controls.

I'm taking them with breakfast.