I think realism is possibly not your friend here, vw.

This I realize.

Oh, the chocolate coins are a good idea!

There are also the cheddar and Colby Jack cheeses that are shaped like sunbursts-- I think Sargento makes them? With some saltines standing in for "stale bread," maybe?

Also Jell-O is good for almost anything.

Whole Foods carries a snack food called Pirate's Booty. I think it's puffed corn with cheese powder - sort of organic cheetoes (and not orange). How could it be wrong?

Nephew on his first day of nursery school.

Whole Foods carries a snack food called Pirate's Booty. I think it's puffed corn with cheese powder - sort of organic cheetoes (and not orange). How could it be wrong?

Trader Joe's usually carries it as well.

but, honestly, hospitality doesn't mean making someone feel that they owe you a debt. It means making someone feel welcome and comfortable.

Adding to the chorus on this one. {{{Sox}}}

Sox, I'm sorry the mother of your friend is being a pain. If you're so stressed that you're no longer having a good time, I'm going to put the suggestion of getting in the car and heading home to T. Shortening the vacation is better than a exploding head.

Pirate's Booty is teh yum.

Whole Foods carries a snack food called Pirate's Booty. I think it's puffed corn with cheese powder - sort of organic cheetoes (and not orange). How could it be wrong?

Oh, yes! Actually, I think our regular grocery stores here carry that. Fantastic idea!

There are also the cheddar and Colby Jack cheeses that are shaped like sunbursts-- I think Sargento makes them? With some saltines standing in for "stale bread," maybe?

Perfect! Thank you guys!

Yum!

Also, the kids could frost their own Pirate cookies - smiley faces with Smarties M&Ms or whatever stuck on for one eye, and with line of chocolate icing and an edible frosted eyepatch where the other should be? (always good to practice fine motor skills in a tasty way!)

You could tell them that Ship's Biscuit tended to have weevils and worms in them - good excuse for eating jelly worms!

Pieces of Eight! Cookies with the number 8 written on them!

Fish fingers! (Or Fish Sticks, do you folks call them?) Made from Mermaids' Tails!

Calamari! Made from baby Krakens!

Seaweed! Or, you know - Nori Flakes/whatever's available. (I LOVE crunchy fried seaweed - you get it here by the bag, like potato crisps. Yum yum yum!)

y'all beat me to the Pirate's Booty suggestion.

The food was very good and we had fun, but I'm still feeling like a flake and a failure. I hate I that I can't have the energy to get the simplest of things done on a regular basis.

Aw, sj. I hate that your brain is so hard on you. Because I am sure that your guests had a wonderful time and had not the slightest inkling that anything was amiss.

Sox- you've gotten some excellent perspective here, but I am still flabbergasted about the whole laptop drama. Seriously, are these people raised by wolves?

I love this cool crisp autumn weather. Yay!

Wait. Today is Talk Like a Pirate Day???

I would have been prepared if not for this power outage.

I mean....the filthy, bilge-rat power outage!

Arrrrrr.

when she used the laptop earlier she was on it for ever and took a whole bunch of anti Obama quizzes that left popups and junk everywhere. She is furious with me.

She is furious with you? There's only one person who has the right to be furious, and that's you. Can you explain to your friend what happened when her mother used her laptop and have her deal with her?

I do not like these people. Not only are you not being treated like a guest, you're also not being treated like a friend.

I'll second "Yay, autumn!" I love fall. My only problem with it is if someone mentions October along with storm or weather or any number of unlikely things, I become hopelessly earwormed with "The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald." That is, indeed, the state I'm in now.