Whole Foods carries a snack food called Pirate's Booty. I think it's puffed corn with cheese powder - sort of organic cheetoes (and not orange). How could it be wrong?

Oh, yes! Actually, I think our regular grocery stores here carry that. Fantastic idea!

There are also the cheddar and Colby Jack cheeses that are shaped like sunbursts-- I think Sargento makes them? With some saltines standing in for "stale bread," maybe?

Perfect! Thank you guys!

Yum!

Also, the kids could frost their own Pirate cookies - smiley faces with Smarties M&Ms or whatever stuck on for one eye, and with line of chocolate icing and an edible frosted eyepatch where the other should be? (always good to practice fine motor skills in a tasty way!)

You could tell them that Ship's Biscuit tended to have weevils and worms in them - good excuse for eating jelly worms!

Pieces of Eight! Cookies with the number 8 written on them!

Fish fingers! (Or Fish Sticks, do you folks call them?) Made from Mermaids' Tails!

Calamari! Made from baby Krakens!

Seaweed! Or, you know - Nori Flakes/whatever's available. (I LOVE crunchy fried seaweed - you get it here by the bag, like potato crisps. Yum yum yum!)

y'all beat me to the Pirate's Booty suggestion.

The food was very good and we had fun, but I'm still feeling like a flake and a failure. I hate I that I can't have the energy to get the simplest of things done on a regular basis.

Aw, sj. I hate that your brain is so hard on you. Because I am sure that your guests had a wonderful time and had not the slightest inkling that anything was amiss.

Sox- you've gotten some excellent perspective here, but I am still flabbergasted about the whole laptop drama. Seriously, are these people raised by wolves?

I love this cool crisp autumn weather. Yay!

Wait. Today is Talk Like a Pirate Day???

I would have been prepared if not for this power outage.

I mean....the filthy, bilge-rat power outage!

Arrrrrr.

when she used the laptop earlier she was on it for ever and took a whole bunch of anti Obama quizzes that left popups and junk everywhere. She is furious with me.

She is furious with you? There's only one person who has the right to be furious, and that's you. Can you explain to your friend what happened when her mother used her laptop and have her deal with her?

I do not like these people. Not only are you not being treated like a guest, you're also not being treated like a friend.

I'll second "Yay, autumn!" I love fall. My only problem with it is if someone mentions October along with storm or weather or any number of unlikely things, I become hopelessly earwormed with "The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald." That is, indeed, the state I'm in now.

when she used the laptop earlier she was on it for ever and took a whole bunch of anti Obama quizzes that left popups and junk everywhere. She is furious with me.

She is furious with you? There's only one person who has the right to be furious, and that's you. Can you explain to your friend what happened when her mother used her laptop and have her deal with her?

Or, if you want to continue the Gandhi route, could you offer to explain to the mother how to use her iPhone to access the internets?

Although, now that I think about it, even if you do that, you should still ALSO explain to your friend what happened when her mother used your laptop, so that the friend can deal with the mother. She's not *your* mother; you shouldn't have to deal with her.

In a house of 11, no one else brought a laptop? I can't even imagine. In a house of 16 at the beach, we had at least 5 laptops. Maybe 6. (Which is still way below Buffista numbers; in a vacation house of 16 Buffistas, there would be prolly 20 laptops; more if Drew were there. And that doesn't include iPhones.)

I think Gandhi would have snapped by now.

I think Gandhi would have snapped by now.

Seriously.

vw, the pirate snack that keeps coming to my mind is pretzel sticks as peg legs. Which is just kinda wrong.

At work (on time!) this morning for a meeting that I ended up being late to because I went to the wrong room for the meeting. Which was really being held on the opposite side of the school. Of course.

Now drinking coffee and reading the internets, mateys.

Aw, sj. I hate that your brain is so hard on you. Because I am sure that your guests had a wonderful time and had not the slightest inkling that anything was amiss.

Thanks. I hate my brain most of the time too. Right now I am trying to figure out if the ADs I am on are not working enough or if the seasonal change is really kicking my ass already.

That is not a good state to be in, Ginger. Unfortunately, I canna think of any good fall songs except Autumn Leaves...with it's amazing downscale triiiillllllll. There. Any better?

Sox, you've had excellent advice here, I can do no better. I'm very sorry you're being put in this situation--not a good vacation, and you deserve one, without having to be the puck in play. Let your friend wrangle her mom.

sj, you did a good job, hon. Everybody had a good time. You did that, so you need to accept that credit, incorporate it into your bank of experience, and move on to plans for next time. I'm sorry about the energy level, but maybe positive spin can help energize you a little bit? Okay, that may be wishful thinking, but it was worth a shot.

Oh, look at that. My coffee mug's empty. There must be a leak...