I think one of the things that makes our F2Fs work, despite the disproportionate number of introverts is that our extroverts are huge honking magnets of teh sexy and fun. Even if all I do is stand next to them, I feel all extroverty while not saying a thing. So, I suspect a lot of people end up doing the same thing. We all kind of gravitate into a tighter and tighter circle around a magnet. Then, the magnet effect reaches critical mass and some of the smaller satellites start to fall off and seek out recharge space. You can kind of see a waxing/waning effect in the room during prom.

True. And it's not that all introverts hate being around people. For some it just wears us out and we have to recharge. In my case it's about 10 minutes of gregariousness to 10 hours of recharging (kinda like a really crappy cell phone my dad had a few years ago). Other people's proportions vary. By which I don't necessarily mean porn, unless you really want me to.

Tep, I don't know if I ever said exactly how sorry I was that I invaded your space at SFF2F. That's kind of stuck with me, and I feel awful for making you so uncomfortable.

Awww, juliana. I really appreciate you saying that. The thing is, though, I *hadn't* articulated my boundaries with anyone. And I'd been to the previous F2Fs and been okay with grope-y-ness (what with *inventing* Too Much Candy, etc.), so there's NO reason anyone should have assumed differently.

It's just really hard to articulate, "Well, I've had kind of an epiphany, and I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, because this is TOTALLY NOT a rejection of anyone, but due to stuff that I'm not comfortable talking about, I need to opt out of the grope-y-ness, although I *do* know that it's all done in a spirit of bonhomie, which I totally appreciate, but still....ne touchez pas."

And now someone is going to tell me I could just say *that,* but -- you try it. It's a mouthful. And LONG, especially at a high-energy gathering like Prom, where, when someone comes up behind you and you don't see them (because of the "coming up behind" thing) and they start rubbing your shoulders, you whip around and then start reciting that long-ass paragraph about boundaries.

I need a shorthand for that. Possibly "rutabega."

And, see, now I'm afraid people will be all like, "Establish minimum clear distance! Ne touchez *her* pas!!!! IF YOU HUG HER, SHE WILL EAT YOUR PANCREAS!!!"

I'm good with hugging; I think that, in the time frame since the SF2F, I've swung a little bit back towards a middle ground, where I'm fine with -- no, I *welcome* -- hugs that I can see coming.

But the stealth backrub might still end up with bloody nubs. IJS.

..."Dirty Jobs" doesn't suck, either.

IF YOU HUG HER, SHE WILL EAT YOUR PANCREAS!!!

makes plans to bring fava beans and a nice Chianti next time she sees Tep

No stealth gropes. Check.

I don't know if I'd do so well with the groping at a F2F. I can do hugs and leans and light snuggles, but anything more personal would likely result in unpleasantness. Though I could probably be persuaded into light pecks.

Rutabaga could be a useful word in the context of a F2F. It should go in the FAQ.

And Dirty Jobs is the only reason I can come up with to get cable.

I don't know if I'd do so well with the groping at a F2F.

Well, I've never taken part in the gropey-grabby-smooching parts of any F2F I've been at. It's just not my thing. But I'm perfectly willing to be an enabler of other people doing so!

Yeah, the more I hear about F2Fs, the more I think I wouldn't enjoy it. I don't really want to be groped by anyone, even my invisible online friends. I *am* an extrovert who likes big parties but all these stories of anxiety and groping kissing are making me wonder if I would would run screaming from an F2F.

Hey, I'm all about the hugging and groping and physicality (another one of those ways where I'm incredibly, typically of my background) but anyone comes up behind me and tries to hug me, they may well come back with a shiner.

I think a lot of people, introvert or extrovert, have what I call "dance space" boundaries.