Do you see any goats around? No, because I sacrificed them.

Willow ,'Showtime'


Spike's Bitches 42: Which question do you want me to answer first?  

[NAFDA] Spike-centric discussion. Lusty, lewd (only occasionally crude), risqué (and frisqué), bawdy (Oh, lawdy!), flirty ('cuz we're purty), raunchy talk inside. Caveat lector.


Steph L. - Aug 08, 2008 9:02:02 am PDT #424 of 10001
Unusually and exceedingly peculiar and altogether quite impossible to describe

Tep, I don't know if I ever said exactly how sorry I was that I invaded your space at SFF2F. That's kind of stuck with me, and I feel awful for making you so uncomfortable.

Awww, juliana. I really appreciate you saying that. The thing is, though, I *hadn't* articulated my boundaries with anyone. And I'd been to the previous F2Fs and been okay with grope-y-ness (what with *inventing* Too Much Candy, etc.), so there's NO reason anyone should have assumed differently.

It's just really hard to articulate, "Well, I've had kind of an epiphany, and I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, because this is TOTALLY NOT a rejection of anyone, but due to stuff that I'm not comfortable talking about, I need to opt out of the grope-y-ness, although I *do* know that it's all done in a spirit of bonhomie, which I totally appreciate, but still....ne touchez pas."

And now someone is going to tell me I could just say *that,* but -- you try it. It's a mouthful. And LONG, especially at a high-energy gathering like Prom, where, when someone comes up behind you and you don't see them (because of the "coming up behind" thing) and they start rubbing your shoulders, you whip around and then start reciting that long-ass paragraph about boundaries.

I need a shorthand for that. Possibly "rutabega."

And, see, now I'm afraid people will be all like, "Establish minimum clear distance! Ne touchez *her* pas!!!! IF YOU HUG HER, SHE WILL EAT YOUR PANCREAS!!!"

I'm good with hugging; I think that, in the time frame since the SF2F, I've swung a little bit back towards a middle ground, where I'm fine with -- no, I *welcome* -- hugs that I can see coming.

But the stealth backrub might still end up with bloody nubs. IJS.


Miracleman - Aug 08, 2008 9:03:28 am PDT #425 of 10001
No, I don't think I will - me, quoting Captain Steve Rogers, to all of 2020

..."Dirty Jobs" doesn't suck, either.


juliana - Aug 08, 2008 9:05:01 am PDT #426 of 10001
I’d be lying if I didn’t say that I miss them all tonight…

IF YOU HUG HER, SHE WILL EAT YOUR PANCREAS!!!

makes plans to bring fava beans and a nice Chianti next time she sees Tep

No stealth gropes. Check.


Connie Neil - Aug 08, 2008 9:05:49 am PDT #427 of 10001
brillig

I don't know if I'd do so well with the groping at a F2F. I can do hugs and leans and light snuggles, but anything more personal would likely result in unpleasantness. Though I could probably be persuaded into light pecks.


Connie Neil - Aug 08, 2008 9:07:49 am PDT #428 of 10001
brillig

Rutabaga could be a useful word in the context of a F2F. It should go in the FAQ.

And Dirty Jobs is the only reason I can come up with to get cable.


Atropa - Aug 08, 2008 9:08:42 am PDT #429 of 10001
The artist formerly associated with cupcakes.

I don't know if I'd do so well with the groping at a F2F.

Well, I've never taken part in the gropey-grabby-smooching parts of any F2F I've been at. It's just not my thing. But I'm perfectly willing to be an enabler of other people doing so!


Stephanie - Aug 08, 2008 9:09:13 am PDT #430 of 10001
Trust my rage

Yeah, the more I hear about F2Fs, the more I think I wouldn't enjoy it. I don't really want to be groped by anyone, even my invisible online friends. I *am* an extrovert who likes big parties but all these stories of anxiety and groping kissing are making me wonder if I would would run screaming from an F2F.


Barb - Aug 08, 2008 9:09:39 am PDT #431 of 10001
“Not dead yet!”

Hey, I'm all about the hugging and groping and physicality (another one of those ways where I'm incredibly, typically of my background) but anyone comes up behind me and tries to hug me, they may well come back with a shiner.

I think a lot of people, introvert or extrovert, have what I call "dance space" boundaries.


Steph L. - Aug 08, 2008 9:10:17 am PDT #432 of 10001
Unusually and exceedingly peculiar and altogether quite impossible to describe

And Dirty Jobs is the only reason I can come up with to get cable.

Adult Swim, man!!!

And, uh, I'm going to have to get cable before the election kicks into high gear. I can't help it. I need to see what's happening.

signed,
It's Been 8 Months and I'm Surprisingly Okay With 2 1/2 Channels


Steph L. - Aug 08, 2008 9:14:11 am PDT #433 of 10001
Unusually and exceedingly peculiar and altogether quite impossible to describe

Yeah, the more I hear about F2Fs, the more I think I wouldn't enjoy it. I don't really want to be groped by anyone, even my invisible online friends.

See, I *knew* that with my penchant for melodramatic retellings, I'd make an F2F sound like Tailhook, and it is SO NOT.

98% of the time is hanging out in smaller groups for excursions and whatnot that are grope-free (was there groping at The House on the Rock???). And, honestly, the kissing and snuggling and stuff that could be considered groping are really really REALLY mutual.

PLEASE don't read my overreaction to a stealth backrub as reason to worry that an F2F is like Tailhook. I am at the far, far, FAR end of the curve on touchy-feely-ness.