But I seem to remember that he is really very bad at getting signals.

That's partly an ADD thing. It's not an *excuse,* but it is a characteristic of some people with ADD that they don't always pick up on signals. He's better at it than most, actually; I think that The Boy doesn't always know what to do or say when I'm hurting, because he doesn't want to say the wrong thing.

I feel sorry for her, that she's losing something so ephemeral that she placed so much value on. That's got to suck. I also have always known that she'll poke at whoever seems to be a threat. But like I said, *I* have rarely been that threat, so I'm not ever prepared to fend off her pokes when they come my way.

Oof. You really do understand her and I know you love her. I just wish she could get past her superficiality and realize just how lovely you really are.

I know my sister regrets her first marriage and subsequent relationship which also lasted a long time but ended before her current marriage. I think she's trying to learn from the mistakes and wants to keep the good parts but somehow can't really get past the bad, either. Closure is hard to get.

I know you love your mom, Tep. But that's just ...bitchy, man. My stepmonster once pouted all day because someone in public told me "Nice shirt." Tep's boyfriend...today's pick for (Bach) Worst. Timing. In The Woorld!!!(/Bach) (/gratuitous Countdown References) Vortex, so sorry for your loss.Sometimes I forget there are families where that isn't an occasion to wipe down your phone and get your story straight. Which is my way of saying, I always appreciated reading about your bond with your dad.

I'm so sorry, Vortex.

she'll poke at whoever seems to be a threat

Sounds like she thinks you're prettier than she is. That's a plus.

she'll poke at whoever seems to be a threat

Sounds like she thinks you're prettier than she is.

It's like Snow White's stepmother sending her off in the woods.

That's a plus.

You know what? It's not. For most of my life, I would have thought so. But however I came by this hard-won mental health, I don't actually think that my mom thinking I'm prettier than she is is a plus. Because I don't think it's a competition. Anymore.

Steph is my hero.

Tep, that does sound like a shitty day, and I'm petty enough to kind of want you to have retaliated with the "old" dig - but I'm glad for you that you're in a place where you're more mature and compassionate than that.

Your mother does sound disconcertingly like Anne Eliot's dad, from Persuasion.

I like the thought that you're the heroine of your own Austen novel.

Scola, you're way prettier than me.

Okay, joking aside (though you *are* a handsome devil), you'll get there. I *know* it.

Also, let me point out that being spun hard by parental bullshit is NOT proof that a person has made no progress, mental-health-wise. (Though I'm still insane.) It's just proof that the parent or parents are being JACK.ASSES.

As fucked up as my family is, I am so glad they have been loving and supportive of me all my life. Even when I was fucked up and not very good to them, they were there for me. My folks may not have agreed with all my beliefs and decisions but they backed me no matter what.

They are proud of me and my kids and think I'm smart, pretty and funny and remind me when I forget.

The buffistas are like that. And it's what makes me happy to be part of this community.