( continues...) respecting them.

t /introvert soapbox

And (to follow my fellow Ohioan's lead [that would be Deena]), now I'm going (back) to bed.

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Steph, I'm not as introverted as you, but I can relate. In fact, I pointedly stayed at a hotel across town from the Madison F2F because though I may not need to retreat, I need to know that I can. Next time I won't be clear across town, since it made it a challenge to hook up (and thank Dog Kate P called me and woke me up or I woulda slept right through prom and missed all of the bellydancing and kissing!!!), but I had to have that "out" for my first F2F.

I don't do groups well. I never, ever have. I adore and cherish my friends, but I know my limits. And I also feel intensely panicked by long durations of what I call "OPS" which means "other peoples' schedule". I've got a max of about 3 hours before I need 1. alone time and 2. no schedule.

I don't like even the suggestion of being told what to do or when to do it by anyone who isn't paying me.

Or, who doesn't know my safe word.

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I think I've gone mildly crazy. I just applied for 3-4 jobs in the San Diego area.

W00t! More Sail for me!

So many more things I wanted to respond to, but I just noticed that it's midnight, I'm really tired, and I'm NOT coughing. I might get to sleep through the night (knock wood), so I'll see you all on the flip side.

{{{Bitches}}}

Seriously, I'll be up to more than 2 posts a day any day now...

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Oh, Teppy is so much me. And the SF2F proved it. While I loved seeing everybody I did see, the HS was too much quite often, and Prom was just.it. I ran off with Fay and Suela and others to watch vids in a dark little room with less than a dozen people and that was fine. Piling up on someone's bed with a handful of people was fine. Going out to dinner, or an excursion to the bead shop with Todd, Theo, Katie, Ginger, and Sail was fun. But to be completely honest, the day I left the hotel after saying goodbye to most folks, Katie packed me in her minivan and drove me out to the Marin headlands and the little beach, and the completely Miyazaki day of sun and wind in the grass and scudding clouds in a blue blue sky was the best thing anybody could have done for me.

I love you all, but smaller doses are necessary. And I need lots of recovery time after. Thank you, Katie, wherever you are!

The Atlanta F2F was doable because it was a smaller group, because Ginger gave me a bed and a book-walled cave to retreat to, and I was more realistic about my energy levels and which group activities I participated in. Thank you Ginger!

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Basically, I can't be around large groups of people for more than a couple of hours (and even that is very taxing). And it's NOT just you guys; it's *any* large group. What sucks heavily is that I *want* to be around Buffistas; other groups, NSM.

I feel very much the same way (and also dealt at one stage with a friend who thought that introverts were just being selfish. And ungodly, as this was in the FAC). Especially if I don't have personal space. I'll usually wind up retreating into the bathroom for at least ten minutes or so at some stage at parties. Open air is good too, as long as I can get away from the people.

One of the things with Wallybee is that being with her, for the most part, recharges me. It's like, she doesn't intrude on my personal space, she is my personal space.

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One of the things with Wallybee is that being with her, for the most part, recharges me. It's like, she doesn't intrude on my personal space, she is my personal space.

Ohhh. That's perfectly wonderful, BT. You're very lucky to have found her.

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applauds Teppy

Yes! This! And what Beverly said also!

Honestly, I had a good friend visiting from home for a fortnight, and I love her and respect her, and I sincerely enjoyed her company the whole time (she's hella clever, and both of us are inclined to lie around reading books and drinking coffee peacefully, when not eating yummy food and having discussions about Big Important Things, and we laughed a lot), but after she flew home I spent a week curled up in my apartment with the cat, with my mobile phone switched off, and only ventured out for new books and more food.

I don't like this about me, because I'm very capable of speaking to nobody for days at a time (weeks, even), and losing myself in books and online discussions and DVDs - and I know that I should be getting exercise instead, and engaging with life better. But - this is me. I am quite sociable and outgoing, sincerely - but I'm also very fond of recharging time with just my own company. This is the first time I've lived alone - I think that I'm probably better living with someone else, actually, because that counterbalances the whole stay-in-coccoon tendency I have.

Anyway, yes - dropped off the face of the map for a week. And I seem to have lost the friendship of one of my friends as a result - it honestly didn't occur to me that I was being selfish, but I see now that I was. She's been having a hard time and doesn't want to have to chase around after someone begging them to be her friend - and I understand that, and I don't blame her at all. I'm slightly gutted to realise how crap I am at that whole dealing-with-people thing, though, and sad that I seem to have carelessly discarded a friendship I value a lot. But I respect her need for space, and I don't want to be a source of headfuckery.

eta

Crumbs, I forgot to mention how lovely this is:

One of the things with Wallybee is that being with her, for the most part, recharges me. It's like, she doesn't intrude on my personal space, she is my personal space.

Mate, I am so very happy for you. When I think back to how hard you tried to keep your previous marriage together, and how very sad your posts were as things snowballed, I'm just thrilled that things unfolded this way for you. That's just so bloody cool.

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One of the things with Wallybee is that being with her, for the most part, recharges me. It's like, she doesn't intrude on my personal space, she is my personal space.

Aw heck, that's pulling at my romantic strings. I want me some of that... not your Wallybee, per se, but my own... oh hell you know what I mean.

With that, I should really go to bed.

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Mate, I am so very happy for you. When I think back to how hard you tried to keep your previous marriage together, and how very sad your posts were as things snowballed, I'm just thrilled that things unfolded this way for you. That's just so bloody cool.

Yeah, I feel very lucky. I really couldn't ask for better.

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Aw heck, that's pulling at my romantic strings. I want me some of that... not your Wallybee, per se, but my own... oh hell you know what I mean.

t takes up defensive position around Wallybee

Oh! That reminds me, my Singapore trip, a very cool thing: I got to the bird park (the journey was a touch draining, but it included a Dali sculpture, so there's that), and the ostrich couple had eggs! The female stayed with them, while the male took up an aggressive posture right in front of me! Seriously, if I'd leant over the guard rail even a foot or so I reckon he could've (and would've, certainly) taken a swipe at me! How awesome was that?

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