If your mother's Sarah Palin ... I think you lose. Although that's one of the better names.

I'm hungry. I should get out of bed and make dinner, but I have my laptop, iPod, and an unopened bottle of Tanqueray within reaching distance.

Open the Tanqueray.

Guzzle Red Palin here, brother to Steam Fangs Palin and Chin Trout Palin. Husband to (oh gods, I hope Wallybee never finds out about this) Mullet Troll Palin.

Petroleum is a vile substance, that corrupts the souls of everyone who deals with it. Except the Norwegians, for some reason.

It's because they know the world ends, not in fire, but in ice.

Has anyone else taken any Japanese? I'm finding the grammar really interesting -- you seem to use the same word for "I eat" and "you eat" and "you are going to eat" and "I am going to eat"; and the same words for "What are you going to eat" and "What would you like to eat", which seems like it'd make learning it very simple -- but then it turns out it makes up for simple verbs by using complicated nouns.

Chinese is much the same. No declensions, no conjugations. A bewildering array of words for, say, 'cousin'.

And I love the way most of the nouns are compounds. 'Panda' is 'big bear-cat'. 'Echidna' is 'spiny mole'. 'Penguin' is 'goose on tiptoe'. 'Wombat' is 'pouch-bear', while 'Koala' is 'tree wombat'.

Then there's the challenge of using different words for counting, depending on the type and shape of the thing you're counting.

Does this mean the numerical signifier, or the measure word? (e.g. 'three brushes' vs 'three tables', does the three translate differently, or do you need a separate word in between, as in "three bottles of wine" vs "three plates of food"?) Chinese does the measure word profusion too.

It made me wonder -- do you use the same counting word for penises that you do for bottles and cigarettes, or does that go in a different category?

I asked Wallybee this question for Chinese. Apparently the appropriate measure word here is gēn, meaning 'root'. Wine comes in bottles, penises come in roots.

I really like this language.

Now I really wish I had a husband and a root.

I've weakened enough to try the Palin name generator:

real name: Smoke Strapon Palin board name: Slicer Mission Palin

All the cats are sleeping. Drama factor is low. Of course, kitten is probably still sleepy from his shots and exploring the new place. Funny thing is he's still mostly hissy at MK, but he sat in the middle of the kitchen, meowing plaintively at her. Um, she's the bitch kitty. Want to make friends, go try the large, slow moving one.

The damned root phrase has gotten me some weird looks. I forget it comes from bon, and have uttered "I wish I had a root" mournfully around coworkers. And then I crack up with embarrassment realizing it isn't a well known expression.

Open the Tanqueray.

Oh, it'll get opened. I just got a banner ad in my Y!Mail asking me to take an "Does Sarah Palin have enough experience?" survey. It's the friggin' end of days all up in my internets!

Open the Tanqueray.

This.