I carried a lot more stuff when the children were younger. My load is much lighter with teens and menopause. Freedom!

This is horrifying: [link]

BRANDON, MAN. — A young man travelling on a Greyhound bus was stabbed to death and beheaded by a stranger in a horrifying act of apparently random violence.

The incident occurred on a bus travelling from Edmonton to Winnipeg just before 10 p.m. Wednesday.

A man of about 18 who was sleeping with headphones on was suddenly attacked by his seat mate, according to the man who sat directly in front of them.

He was stabbed repeatedly with a large hunting knife, sending blood spraying across the interior of the bus. The driver quickly pulled over and passengers fled out the front door.

ETA:I have to say the next line of the article freaked me out so much, I didn't dare copy it into natter.

Guess who is taking a bus to visit their family on Saturday? Yikes!

Oh dear.

So, sit at the front of the bus and DON'T GO TO SLEEP!

So, sit at the front of the bus and DON'T GO TO SLEEP!

You're more practical that I am, sumi. I was thinking about investing in a Kevlar turleneck.

World's oldest joke traced back to 1900 BC

LONDON (Reuters Life!) - The world's oldest recorded joke has been traced back to 1900 BC and suggests that toilet humor was as popular with the ancients as it is today.

It is a saying of the Sumerians, who lived in what is now southern Iraq and goes: "Something which has never occurred since time immemorial; a young woman did not fart in her husband's lap."

I don't get it.

A 1600 BC gag about a pharaoh, said to be King Snofru, comes second -- "How do you entertain a bored pharaoh? You sail a boatload of young women dressed only in fishing nets down the Nile and urge the pharaoh to go catch a fish."

The oldest British joke dates back to the 10th Century and reveals the bawdy face of the Anglo-Saxons -- "What hangs at a man's thigh and wants to poke the hole that it's often poked before? Answer: A key."

Heh.

Makeup for men - heading to a chemist near you soon

It started with Russell Brand and Johnny Depp, but Superdrug is hoping makeup on men could go mainstream this summer. The high-street chemist is stocking its shelves with a range of cosmetics aimed directly at its male customers.

Guyliner, a £6.50 kohl pencil, will be in stores this week, closely followed by Manscara, a clear gel for lashes and brows. If they sell well, a lip balm and cover-up will follow.

I can't decide if 'Guyliner' or 'Manscara' is the coolest name....

After struggling to apply it, drama students Andrew Bate and Tom Done were pleased with the way the Guyliner brought out their eyes. "I would wear it to some events," Tom said. "But I wouldn't wear it to work or to have a pint with my dad."

Tattooist Graham Carlton, 45, admitted he was no stranger to makeup: "I wore it many times when I was growing up in the 80s with the New Romantic scene. It was almost a uniform and the girls liked it. I don't think it would have the same effect now - I have gained 4st and 30 years so I'm guessing I would look like Danny La Rue."

Manscara

Sounds more like a direct-to-skiffy movie.

Where did everybody go?

Wake n' Bacon is most delicious alarm clock ever

Alarm clocks are a necessary evil. They're necessary because, well, you need to wake up in time for work, but they're evil because they wake you from a restful slumber with a harsh, horrible noise. There's just got to be a better way to wake up in the morning.

Say hello to the Wake n' Bacon. Simply put a frozen strip of bacon into it when you go to bed. 10 minutes before you're supposed to wake up, it'll start cooking the bacon. The smell will waft out, waking you up to the odor of sweet, sweet hogfat. If you don't wake up, a small alarm will go off. Sure, that's annoying, but at least your bedroom will smell like bacon, right?

Sue, that's HORRIBLE!