World's oldest joke traced back to 1900 BC
LONDON (Reuters Life!) - The world's oldest recorded joke has been traced back to 1900 BC and suggests that toilet humor was as popular with the ancients as it is today.
It is a saying of the Sumerians, who lived in what is now southern Iraq and goes: "Something which has never occurred since time immemorial; a young woman did not fart in her husband's lap."
I don't get it.
A 1600 BC gag about a pharaoh, said to be King Snofru, comes second -- "How do you entertain a bored pharaoh? You sail a boatload of young women dressed only in fishing nets down the Nile and urge the pharaoh to go catch a fish."
The oldest British joke dates back to the 10th Century and reveals the bawdy face of the Anglo-Saxons -- "What hangs at a man's thigh and wants to poke the hole that it's often poked before? Answer: A key."
Heh.
Makeup for men - heading to a chemist near you soon
It started with Russell Brand and Johnny Depp, but Superdrug is hoping makeup on men could go mainstream this summer. The high-street chemist is stocking its shelves with a range of cosmetics aimed directly at its male customers.
Guyliner, a £6.50 kohl pencil, will be in stores this week, closely followed by Manscara, a clear gel for lashes and brows. If they sell well, a lip balm and cover-up will follow.
I can't decide if 'Guyliner' or 'Manscara' is the coolest name....
After struggling to apply it, drama students Andrew Bate and Tom Done were pleased with the way the Guyliner brought out their eyes. "I would wear it to some events," Tom said. "But I wouldn't wear it to work or to have a pint with my dad."
Tattooist Graham Carlton, 45, admitted he was no stranger to makeup: "I wore it many times when I was growing up in the 80s with the New Romantic scene. It was almost a uniform and the girls liked it. I don't think it would have the same effect now - I have gained 4st and 30 years so I'm guessing I would look like Danny La Rue."
Manscara
Sounds more like a direct-to-skiffy movie.
Where did everybody go?
Wake n' Bacon is most delicious alarm clock ever
Alarm clocks are a necessary evil. They're necessary because, well, you need to wake up in time for work, but they're evil because they wake you from a restful slumber with a harsh, horrible noise. There's just got to be a better way to wake up in the morning.
Say hello to the Wake n' Bacon. Simply put a frozen strip of bacon into it when you go to bed. 10 minutes before you're supposed to wake up, it'll start cooking the bacon. The smell will waft out, waking you up to the odor of sweet, sweet hogfat. If you don't wake up, a small alarm will go off. Sure, that's annoying, but at least your bedroom will smell like bacon, right?
But if you don't carry your own books, how do you know they'll have a book you want? (I'm enjoying the pack-n-post quite a lot.)
I forgot to add that I'm carrying my journal/lyrics notebook as well as my sketch notebook, so I'm hoping to do some writing/doodling as well. Otherwise, there's just no excuse.
As for the pockets/knapsack discussion:
These days, I almost always wear cargo pants, especially for work. What's in the pants can vary wildly, but on work days, usually includes keys, cell phone, wallet, work gloves, possibly a small hand tool or two (C-wrench, side cutters), and my super-bright LED Maglite strapped to my belt.
On big jobs, the tools are carted in separately, but I'll add a web belt that includes pockets for many hand tools, and a holster for my screw gun.
For many places I go, I also carry a knapsack that holds my 17" MacBook Pro, plus whatever accessories and such I feel I need for that (which can also vary wildly).
As it is packed now, preparing for this Michigan trip, it also contains an M-Box (pro audio interface), a rather nice microphone and its shock mount, all the various cables needed for that (including duplicates), some Futurama DVDs, some video games, and a couple of books.
When out and about for play, I like to travel as light as possible, and carry only wallet, cell phone and keys. And the keys take up no pocket space, since I do the carabiner thing (apparently, most sound professionals like to jingle as they walk, it's a thing).
I ususally bring a purse with wallet, nano, pens, pencils, a tiny sketchbook, regular notebook, lip balm, lipstick, coin purse and lots of random stuff that makes it's way into my purse somehow such as hard candy, cough drops, etc.
And a book bag with often: something I'm reading, knitting projects (on needles, with the pattern, tape measure, stitch markers, crochet hook, tapestry needles . .. I really need to get small portable scissors. . .) And also pens, lip balm, glasses case, extra glasses that I need to wear with my contacts because my prescription is off.)
Keys - I forgot keys: front and back door keys for my apartment plus my office keys. It's a good thing I don't drive!
Latest addition to all kits: For a writing utensil, I have now switched almost exclusively to the Sharpie Pen (won't soak through paper), though I do carry a couple of automatic pencils as well.
Good god, Sue. That is fucking horrifying.
