Survival Olympics
Archery
Baseball - Only if you are a pitcher with a mean fastball
Badminton - Could possibly be used to whack small birds out of the air for food?
Basketball - Only if attacked by an alien with a throat exactly the size of a basketball or by a terrorist who makes basketballs that explode when you stop dribbling them.
Beach Volleyball - Possibly a vicious serve to the head of the enemy?
Boxing - Good as long as you understand that you there are no rules
Canoe/Kayak
Cycling-Mtn Bike
Cycling-BMX
Diving - Only if you're forced to jump off a high cliff to escape
Equestrian - Good if you have a horse and silly clothes
Football (aka Soccer)- No
Fencing - Only if you had a real sword and had to survive in an Errol Flynn movie
Artistic Gymnastics, Rhythmic Gymnastics - May distract the enemy when they start laughing hysterically
Trampoline - Useful only if you can strategically place trampolines throughout the countryside
Modern Pentathlon
Rowing
Sailing
Shooting
Swimming - Maybe
Synchro Swimming - Ha, ha, ha
Taekwondo - Possibly if you can forget the rules
Triathlon - Yes, although you probably won't have enough body fat to last long
Volleyball - Possibly a vicious serve to the head of the enemy?
Weightlifting - Useful to lift beams off trapped people