So, if I was going to write a bat pirate filk (Fifteen Men on a Dead Man's Chest), would this sound ridic?

Fifteen bats on a driftwood boat,
Yo ho ho and a tasty green frog!
We can't sing but we surely can float,
Yo ho ho and a tasty green frog!

Allyson, this made me smile.

What a great way to start my day.

That's some quality slounging.

French translation request!

"Are you awake?"

"The queen is asleep, I think."

"We cannot go on like this. Surely even you must admit this is madness."

Tomorrow we are performing an experiment to see what is funnier when it hits the sidewalk from the patio: A coconut, a papaya, a kiwi, a mango, or a plantain.

We need Sam to sink the pirate ship with an aerial assault.

I say A) he can't lift a coconut (even though he has a friend helping) and B) coconuts don't grow on the Canary Islands.

I also say that papayas are inherently more funny and less cliche than coconuts.

So a couple of the engineers have agreed to help with my experiment and judge which fruit is funnier when it hits the ground.

Problem: I cannot find a coconut ANYWHERE. Everyone has the meat, but no whole coconuts.

I have everything else. I think this is an anti-coconut sign.

Did you know that bats pollinate the agave plant and eat the pests that would wipe them out?

Without bats, there'd be no tequilla.

WTF, Elfie?

YAY Bats!

I think only a papaya, mango or kiwi has a chance of inflicting collateral damage when used as a weapon. Coconuts need to be opened with chisels and hammers, that's not going to work unless you need to hit just one specific place. And a plantain will just bounce off unless it's so ripe it softly splats. Actually the kiwi is kinda weak too unless there's a kiwi shotgun. I'm going to guess papaya or mango. Really the mango should win. It's got the honking pit in the middle.

I swear I just overthought fruit weaponry.

And am suddenly craving a smoothie.

Without bats, there'd be no tequilla.

Three cheers for the bats!

Kiwi has comic potential just for the name.