18, baby! Who's driving the bus to hell?? I AM!!

You....you....you....SPORTS FAN!

Whoremonger!

Steph, thanks...

How old is your dad, and -- other than his heart -- how's his health?

My dad is 75. He has diabetes, but is otherwise very healthy. Walks 3-6 miles a day and is very active. Though since the last time he had surgery (gall bladder removed) he's had memory issues that are weird. His doctor thought he had a stroke while under anesthesia.

There's nothing I can do from here. And I can't leave here until end of June. Gah.

Kat, I'm so sorry! Please let me know if there's anything I can do to help.

ita, I no longer know where you live. But if you'd like a ride, I owe you at least one. Let me know. Unless I'm really out of the loop and you did something weird like move back to Michigan. Then you're on your own.

I don't drink at all, but even I know wine comes in little bottles of just one or two servings. Why don't you bottle people/single drinkers invest in those? That's what I buy whenever I need wine for cooking. I make my mom pick out the brand, since she actually likes wine, and she has some to drink and I use what I need for the recipe.

I am having a crappy day. I am scared to leave my house, and I am hungry. Maybe I'll go ahead and invest in delivery charges. I finally fell asleep at 1:00 am. I woke myself up at 2:00 am by letting out a piercing scream when my adorable cat, who was playing, slipped down my thigh and got his claws STUCK IN MY LEG. Because I just wanted the bleeding to go away, and it somehow seemed to make sense at the time, I just wrapped my leg in toilet paper and crawled back under the covers. Then the next door neighbor's lawn service started at 6:00 am with the weed whacker and possibly a leaf blower right next to my wall. I whimpered, but fell back asleep. At 7:00 am, Sprint started to send me text messages, making my phone go crazy. At 7:15, the alarm went off. I of course had a cranky sleep-deprived headache and wanted nothing more than to go back to sleep, but I decided to be responsible. So I got up, only to realize I had bloody toilet paper stuck not only to me, but to my newly stained sheets. Lovely. So I stumble into the closet, pick out something to wear, and notice that my usually completely sweet girl cat is freaking out about something. And standing on my feet. So I pick her up to soothe her, and she goes completely bananas halfway up, and in an impressive display of agility, gets one claw stuck in my nose, three claws down my left arm, a nice gouge into my right wrist, and a really impressive three claw swipe that goes completely across my chest. So now the only place I'm NOT bleeding from is my left leg. And I am NOT HAPPY. So I go into the bathroom to clean myself up somehow, and they have somehow managed to toss litter around the place like it's confetti. And most likely out of sheer exhaustion, I burst into tears. Which is when I realized I probably would not make a good asset to the team today at work, so I called in, then go crawl back into bed. Which is when my neighbors children start screaming at the top of their lungs about something. So I lay in bed for an additional three hours, but get no additional sleep. I finally decide to go to my neighborhood coffee shop to get a muffin and a vanilla latte, which is something I desperately need at this point. Only to realize, once I get to my car, that I have a parking ticket. Because of alternate side parking. Because I had parked there fully expecting to go to work in the morning and not having to worry about it. I am having a really hard time motivating myself to accomplish anything today, and would really appreciate a do-over. Because today bites.

even I know wine comes in little bottles of just one or two servings. Why don't you bottle people/single drinkers invest in those?

Half-bottles tend to be REALLY overpriced compared to their full-sized brethren.

{{Alibelle}} Dear god, honey, that's enough to make anyone burst into tears. I wish I could send a muffin and vanilla latte through the internets.

I have a serving of VitaminWater at my desk and one of Coke.

Coke: 130 calories/serving, 39g of sugar
VitaminWater: 75 calories/serving, 19g of sugar

I don't see how VitaminWater is the worst health drink because it's SO close to Coke.

Apple juice: 117 calories/serving, 27g of sugar
Raw orange juice: 112 calories/serving, 21g of sugar
Grapefruit juice, unsweetened: 96 calories/serving, 22g of sugar

Does that help with perspective on "health"?

Kat, I can't begin to imagine the stress. I'm here hoping for the most mundane of mundanities, the sort of thing where travel would just be too much bother, so it's just as well. Let it be so.

I was there -- it was a possum. Outside the window!

But it looked like it was inside. People always leave that part out...

And the part where I'd had rabies shots the summer before. So I was reasonably jumpy -- albeit maybe not reasonably "scramble over my friends and leave them to die".

The new low calore Gatorade rawks -- and I don't think it has artificial sweetener.

And Coke Zero is the SHIZ NIT.

Oh, Alibelle. You definitely deserve a do-over.

Ha ha ha. RTD the atheist is going to have a cow.

Serves RTD the athiest right for featuring floaty Tinkerbell Jesus Doctor in a season finale, I say.

Dear god, Alibelle, that's HORRID. And no I'm not pranking you from Michigan (and had I been, I'd have felt like shit for being part of a day like yours has been so far). Just whimpering from West LA. I'm a tentative on any plan, slightly less tentative if I don't have to be fit to drive at the end of it.