Having originally missed the link to the chimp article, ita's post had me really alarmed for a moment.

that man is a Darwin award waiting to happen. I hope he didn't breed when he could.

Do they teach Krav defense against chimp attack?

Chimps, according to every source I could find, are frighteningly strong - something like seven times stronger than an adult human. Possibly stronger than that, even. Being chimps, it's difficult to get them to just show us how much they can bench, but according to this source at least one study has been done to test chimps' pulling strength. In the test, a 165 pound male chimp pulled, with one arm, 847 pounds. And this isn't even necessarily the limit of its strength - it's just when the chimp got bored of pulling. Also - get a load of this - in the same study, a 135 pound female chimp pulled 1,260 pounds! With one arm! I won't get into how much I can lift... but not that much.

The rest of the article has a paragraph about what chimps have done to children. Damn.

[link]

I don't see the big deal -- people often have their pets in their weddings. It's goofy, but I don't know that its evidence of a wildly-skewed world view.

Their pet got taken away and stuck in a shitty sanctuary where they were injured when animals escaped. Then he was stuck in another shitty sanctuary that let HIM escape.

Now their pet, who they've had for forty years, is likely to end up shot. It's horrible.

people often have their pets in their weddings.

Pete Wentz?

I would posit that the upshot of the story is that many wild animals make crappy pets.

(Now of course I am stuck with the idea of dogs wearing diapers rather than be trained, and having giggleworthy thoughts about whether the diapers would have to match the wedding decor.)

Now of course I am stuck with the idea of dogs wearing diapers rather than be trained, and having giggleworthy thoughts about whether the diapers would have to match the wedding decor.

Now I'm thinking about dogs attending funerals, where they have to wear black diapers.

Pete Wentz?

I think Fran Drescher did too. You see it on weird cable shows too.

I would posit that the upshot of the story is that many wild animals make crappy pets.

In that story, they make bad sanctuary inhabitants. Or there are plenty of bad sanctuaries.

I agree they make bad pets, btw -- but forty years ago when they brought the little guy home people were dumber about such things... and they didn't sell him to a lab (which happened plenty), they did the best they could by him. And now there is a good chance he'll end up dead.

I remember an episode of Emergency Vets where a bride's pot-bellied pig was the ringbearer.

In the Darwin award category, there was a teenager who was killed here other day at Six Flags when he was hit by the Batman ride [link] He had climbed two substantial fences with Danger and Restricted Area signs to get underneath the ride. I feel bad when teenage stupidity is terminal, but I don't know what else Six Flags could do, other than wrapping its guests in bubble wrap.