(And, yeah, the first time that slipped out after I left high school was a completely weird mashup of "I really shouldn't have said that" and "these people have no idea what I'm even talking about.)

Oh yes. It was sort of like when I realized that "The R-Wing" didn't mean the place where crazy people go in other cities. My mom always used to say I was sending her to the R -wing.

Also-- are you actually from Western NY (which I did not know at all) or are the BOCES elsewhere?

Nah, BOCES is a statewide program (or at least it was at that point, although I haven't thought of it in ages) -- I spent part of high school interned on Long Island.

Ah. I sort of always forget that NYC and the surrounding environs are, like, part of the same state!!! I R DUM.

Oh, flea. I've been there, in the sense that I watched my ex screw up his life, and therefore mine, despite my doing everything I could think of to help him and urge him on.

They think we're going to beat the record high for the day. I hate being part of weather records.

Yes, I am furious that your inability to finish your dissertation before the end of the spring semester is now jeopardizing our ability to get a mortgage. I fucking told you so. Ten thousand times I told you so. How many more times can you fail?

Holy fucking FAIL, flea. I'm sorry.

Also, you know you can make special groups on LJ that do not include certain folks? I have a no-TomW filter because sometimes I just need to rant and I don't need him to hear it in that exact moment. Or if I talk about his family stuff or such.

kitty ~ma to Sue and Pico from me and Miss Mew Mew.

Oh dear flea, my sympathies to both of you.

People use "girl" as a slur all the time, and you don't see us coming up with new words to call female children, do you?

What? you never heard of wimmin? or grrrl for that matter?

Oh god, flea. I feel you. You can't force them to do the only goddamned thing they need to get done, and yet when they don't do it, it affects SO MUCH MORE than just them.

Um, a dissertation is not just a small or simple thing to get done. There is a reason it takes most people years.

I certainly get flea's frustration though. And, flea, believe me, I'm sure there's still hope. It depends on the commmittee. My conclusion was not written a month before my defense. The day I wrote it was "my" drop dead deadline to send my dissertation out to my committee. That day? Was also the day of the East Coast blackout. Not only did I have to walk back to Brooklyn with my computer on my back, but I couldn't print out and mail for days.

IME, beyond the main readers (who I assume have already seen much of the work), committee members read these things at the last minute.

Also, my defense was just two days before the final copy and everything had to be turned in for graduation. These things are possible. Keep the faith.

Yeah. OTOH, I remember my mom explaining that she nearly left my dad (lo these nearly 40 years ago) when he was supposed to be writing his dissertation (while she brought home the bucks as a teacher), and he...never finished it. They are still married. But he never got his PhD. And I'd definitely say that changed his career path.

Though they ARE still married. And she DID manage not to kill him. I'm not sure HOW...[Edit: OK, I think he had some kind of excuse about how he was writing his dissertation about the economy of Chile, and CONVENIENTLY there was a military coup? Tcha, whatever]

megan's right, it's not a simple thing to finish but it can be done, and yeah meara's right too in that sometimes it doesn't. I'm guessing in this case, with the shiny new job waiting at the end, it WILL get done.

But yeah, I can feel for both flea and mr. flea in this scenario.