They did indeed hug and comfort me and generally were as awesome as you would expect. I'm afraid I shortened the night unintentionally (my anxiety caused stomach issues), but it was so good seeing everyone.

I'm now getting ready for bed after watching an episode of Angel with Jon & FAQWife. Drew should be landing in San Diego any minute.

I am verklempt.

My mother died this morning. I'm sitting here bemused, looking for grief and trying not to fan the sparks of regret and melancholy into something artificially dramatic. ND is far more deserving of bitchma than I.

I don't remember the last time I actually heard her voice. I'm not sure if we traded direct communication anytime this century.

I've been in contact with my oldest sister the past couple of months, but I haven't communicated with my middle sister in a very long time either. Seeing them is my biggest dread about going back to Pennsylvania for the funeral. I don't have anything in common with them other than blood and twenty years of common life more than half my life ago. I don't want to deal with all that, I was content with the way my life was in regards to my blood family.

I'll probably be able to scrounge the money for a flight, if there's someone on the far end who can give me a ride from Pittsburgh to the rural wilds of Greene County. But, god, I don't want to go.

I hate admitting to my lack of proper filial devotion. But it's the truth, and coping with this will not be made easier by avoidance.

Oh shit, Connie. Whether or not you two were close, that's still really difficult news. I'm so sorry. And I'm also sorry for the drama inherent in difficult family reunions. Hang in there. My thoughts are with you.

I'm sorry, Connie.

I'm sorry, Connie. It isn't easy to get to the place where you can accept your honest feelings about your blood family. Do what is right for you. You have to figure out if going to PA will make it better or worse. You may have to figure another way to acknowledge her passing. I am sorry for your loss, both today and throughout your history with your family. Comfort and acceptance vibes headed your way. The passing of a parent is definitely one of the more unpleasant emotional experiences in this life.

I'm sorry, Connie.

Oh Christ world, stop being so fucking hard on our Buffistas.

Drew, may the best possible happen with your father.

Connie, peace to your Mother's memory, and cope ma to you.

Allyson, Police and prosecutors have discretion. They don't a choice as to when they arrest someone and a choice as to when they prosecute someone. What they are doing to your brother may be legal (or not - I'm with everyone who says get a really good lawyer) , but it is not just.

That's hard news, Connie.

Whatever your history with your mother, she's the person that brought you into the world. You passed through her body and into this life. And now she's gone.

You might feel a little unmoored. Or not. It sounds like you made that break a long time ago.

Don't dread the trip back, though. You're not the person you were when you left, and neither are your sibs and family. It's not going to be what you remember but something else. And it might be something useful to you.

I'm sorry, Connie. I wish that I lived near so that I could offer to go with you.

Connie, I wish you much strength and the ability to cope.