Oh, Fay. That's craziness! You're GORGEOUS just as you are.

Go o_a with the accomplishing stuff!

gronk. 2 early mornings in a row have me in super-capable mode. Which usually ends badly. DH seems to have thrown his back out (though we'll know more once he receives some expert treatment today). I suck at mornings, entirely, but this morning, I got everyone up, dressed, and made eggs for breakfast (sparky, shshsh), made lunches, and got them in the car... I would have done drop-off too, but DH says he can handle that. I also did all the dishes in the sink, cleaned the diaper pail, and got the laundry ready to go down to the basement. And sent off four emails that I've been putting off doing because it meant talking to people I don't know very well. Now that I've stopped moving, I think I am going to fall asleep sitting up.

I hope everything betters up this afternoon, or tomorrow, or soon - there's a free concert at our local park tonight that we've been looking forward to, and a jazz concert at a local private garden that we can go to tomorrow night because we're members. O, and a week at the beach soon to get ready for. oi.

zzzZZZZZZzzzz.

Sparky, how is Sass?

Cashmere - yay Flip!

Well, I feel like a total shite.

Last week I was rummaging in the work kitchen for a sugary something, found a pack of cookies that weren't marked, and had a few.

This morning, our events planner goes into the kitchen and starts yelling. Which, she normally doesn't and immediately apologized for. I asked what happened and she said, "Someone opened the GD cookies I was going to use for my event this morning and they didn't close them and ARRRRGH!!!"

If my back hadn't been to her, she would have seen me cringing in absolute embarassment. I reached down and grabbed $5 out of my wallet and took it in to her. She was apologizing for the swearing again and acting unprofessional. I said, "Truly, it's no big deal. That was me what opened the cookies." I gave her the money and she waved it off at first, but I pushed it back on her and apologized profusely for opening her event cookies while she's apologizing profusely for screaming at me even though she didn't know it was me who opened them. We laughed and she went off to her even, but I still feel reallly stupid.

Oh, Aimee, that does sound cringy. But, I think you both handled it really well.

I got up super early this morning to go for a run. I was really hoping to keep 12.5 min miles (yes, I'm slow). I ended up closer to 13 for the 5 mile run. Grrr.

Aims, I'm sorry you feel stupid but I probably would have done something similar. Hope your day improves.

Taz and Sass ma is still needed, right? Pet-ma!

On a side note, why does my new computer that's supposed to be fast want to take 5 hours to download itunes?

Aimee, it sounds like an honest mistake - and you made good on it as soon as you knew.

In other news, this is why people generally have guard DOGS.

eta - dratted link doesn't seem to be working ... it's a story about a man who ordered his albino python to attack his girlfriend. She called the cops and when they arrived the man ordered the python to attack them. The python didn't attack anyone; the man was taken into custody and the python was removed by animal control for its own good.

Sassafras is okay. The orthopedic surgeon spent quite a bit of time manipulating her knee, and his opinion is that there is probably not a tear in the CCL. Her patella was very loose (he could move it way, way around) but he's not certain it's clinically significant. She's still a bit gimpy, but definitely improving. And really, really not understanding why she doesn't get to go to the play area at daycare, or to the park after work. If anyone knows how to explain the concept of rest to an extremely active 8 month old puppy, I'd love to hear it.

The python story made me laff.

When submitting a scholarship application, do you give the originals of the letters of rec or copies?

Yay for Sass!

No idea, Aims.

Geez, Aims, it's not like you knew they were Special Event Cookies.

ION, my ultrasound is today and I'm stressing myself out to the point of tears. My reasoning is something like this:

"What if I'm actually pregnant and too stupid to have realized it? But I have an IUD; I can't be pregnant! Then again, it's happened before. But no! I have a goddamn IUD and we use condoms and it's not like we actually have PIV sex all that often. But what if I'm pregnant and just stupid like those women who don't know they're pregnant until the day they deliver?....

"Okay, probably not pregnant. But what if I have a gigantic cancerous tumor? But my OB/GYN didn't feel ANYTHING when she did my exam last week...she probably thinks I'm a hypochondriac and just want attention. But my abdomen is fatter than it's ever been (which is why I'm probably pregnant, because of the fat), so maybe I have too much fat padding for her to have felt anything when she did the exam, because it was just her hands, after all....

"Jesus Christ, what if it's not pregnancy and not a tumor -- what if I'm just fatter than I've ever been in my life? Why is my abdomen disproportionately fat, then? Oh my god, I'm just trying to justify my fat! But I work out 4 days a week! Did quitting Zoloft make me *gain* weight? That couldn't be possible....could it?

"Oh my god, I'm just a big giant fat fatty and I'm desperately trying to find something that will let me excuse it away....NO WONDER we don't have PIV sex often -- The Boy thinks I'm disgusting and won't say it! This is like that horrible conversation we had last year!

"Maybe I should try diet pills/Atkins/fasting. Oh my god, I have to go to the beach with his entire family in 4 days and they'll see me in a SWIMSUIT! Okay, I just won't swim. But that would suck. But oh, my god, I'll gross them out!

"....I hope it's a tumor. A big giant football-sized BENIGN tumor. That would explain my GIGANTIC FAT ABDOMEN.

"...okay, that's sick. I shouldn't wish for that. I should just shut the fuck up and work out more/stop eating carbs/stop eating fat/stop eating altogether.

"But, okay, what about all the REALLY BAD abdominal pains I'm having? [Not to mention the whole thing where PIV sex ALWAYS hurts.] Fat doesn't cause abdominal pain or pain during sex ...right?"

* * * *

So, basically, I'm insane. Fat and in pain and IN-FUCKING-SANE. I would take an Ativan, but I don't know if I'm allowed to b/c of the ultrasound. And oh, can I say how UNTHRILLED I am that some medical tech I don't know is going to be shoving a dildo-cam up my bits?

I don't know what I want more: to find out that it's absolutely nothing, so my fat is my fault and my pain is all in my head, or to find out that I have a GIANT ALIEN BABY WITH TEETH in my abdomen.

And then let's not forget how my health insurance is switching just in time for this whole situation to be totally kerfucked. Although obviously if the results were serious and needed to be addressed right away, then I just wouldn't go on vacation next week and I'd have it taken care of before my health insurance changes. AGAIN.

Okay, they told me to drink 32 oz. of liquid about an hour before the procedure -- do you think that can be beer? Because I really think a beer is called for. Not that I *have* one at my desk or even in the office.