I'm quite certain that most of my friends are far more amazing, interesting, and wonderful than I could ever pretend to be, and since I can never claim to deserve their friendship I am always grateful for it.

No, recovery is like verdamndt housework. You sweep, you make beds, you mop floors, you shine windows, you dust. But at no one point can you *stop* and say, "I'm done! It's perfect, I don't have to do any of that again."

So true. I think grief is the same way. Every day I find myself picking up moments that remind me of my mom or my dad and of how much I miss them. And of how wonderful they were to me, especially my mom who just totally understood me.

I'm more disturbed by the image of Fay in jeans and sneakers.

Me too. Although I do have some cupcake pink jeans from Marks and Sparks...but sneakers and T shirts are Only For The Gym. In my world.

ALLYSON! EEEEEE, bats! And I've heard about that novel and was curious about it! Thank you very very much.

Oh I'm so glad to hear it. The book seemed like it might be sketchy, but the cover was gorgeous. And the bats were so cute I thought maybe you could do something way crafty with them.

Thanks for your kindness, all.

I went straight to bed after my last post and slept until 4ish. I was so exhausted from sobbing all I could do was sleep. I didn't go to the gym at all. I'm cleaning the kitchen now, to keep my mind busy.

Called my mom and left a message, she called and sounded worried, so I'll talk to her first thing in the morning. No confrontations, just want to tell her I'm feeling crappy and get good stories about my nephew.

I'm so tired, just wiped out mentally. I need a shower and to finish mopping up the floor.

take care of yourself, Allyson.

Take care, Allyson. I hope the nephew stories cheer you up. Stories of my nephews always work for me.

Take care, love. And, er, don't mention crowbars to your mum, 'kay?

On an entirely different note: A friend has just asked me what's the sexiest book I can think of, for a list of The 100 Sexiest Books for her magazine.

Thoughts?

(And also - Jilli, have you read Wicked Lovely? Just started it - think you'd enjoy! Also bought 'Vampire Kisses' at same time.)

Hallo! I ended up having a pretty good evening--was worried because friend was bringing along another friend, to the movie, but it all turned out wonderful. Why should I doubt? Of course my friends have awesome friends! I had met her once before, and remembered her once I saw her, and the movie was a bit bizarre, but she and I kept making the same comments at the same time (ie, movie set in Peru suddenly has a digeridoo in the soundtrack and she and I both lean over to each other and go "Uh, wrong continent?") And we all went for some food after, and had fun discussing Catholocism and family drama, and convinced her to come to my Dance-stravaganza on Thursday. Yay.

How come I'm so good at making friends, and so crap at dating?

Ugh... the ex who moved in with her "ex" boyfriend while she was dating me is talking to me while drunk because she's upset that her current boyfriend whose cheated on her with like hookers 6 times hasn't proposed.

My mother emailed me an article about how to move from friendship to relationship. Apparently this is her new theory about why I'm not dating. (Other theories are that I don't get out enough, that I'm not trying, that I'm too picky, that I need to lose weight, that I make myself seem too smart, and that I don't wax my eyebrows often enough.)

an article about how to move from friendship to relationship

....this assumes that I would want to do that. Usually I'm friends with people who I do not want to date. IJS.

Not that I think much of your mother's other theories either.

Does J-Date do gay dating? My one friend was complaining that she wants to date a Jewish girl...