PS, can someone tell my phone that retrain is not the same thing as retain? So I don't have to edit autocorrect?

I love it, but sometimes, it makes inappropriate switches.

Well, I would like to see Allyson and Tom retain their brains too, because spicy brains.

Allyson, you're absolutely right. There is no switch, and learning to ignore those voices is incredibly hard. But I'm one of the people cheering you on, and will do anything I can for you.

Hey Jilli, the post office tells me you should get your surprise today, let me know!

Hey Jilli, the post office tells me you should get your surprise today, let me know!

::flaily hands::

Flaily hands which are no substitute for being able to SEE YOU and hang out, mind you, but flaily hands nonetheless.

Dang. People suck.

I only sometimes deal with BIDs like that. Often I'm quite convinced I'm fabulous. Stupidly single. But fabulous. Or at least, y'know, OK. Better than some. Or something like that.

Body Image Demons DO suck. I hate mine. And they've been mostly quiet lately thanks to the twin wonders of Weight Watchers working for me AND modern pharmacology. (Celexa is, for me, a wonder drug, and I really wish I had been smart enough to talk to my doctor about some of my issues earlier.)

Allyson, I don't know you and have never had an interactive dialogue with you, though I've been reading what you've had to say for quite some time now.

Even without knowing you in any personal sense, I feel as though I like you a whole lot. You're incredibly charismatic and personable in text, and I assume, in life as well. The more I like a person, the more attractive I find them over time and I find the inverse to be true as well. My point is that I'm sure most people share my opinion of you and in finding your personality to be so attractive, see you as such.

Additionally, I'm sure you're gorgeous. But this is irrelevant to me. I've also spent so much of my energy on wasteful self loathing and critisism over time and comparing myself to others. What I realized is that in equating my physical self worth with my overall self worth and examining the qualities of others, the perception that ALWAYS wins out is the sense of character I feel regarding a person.

The revelation this has resulted in is that beauty really does come from within and shines throughout. This doesn't mean that I'm always able to practice what I preach and apply it to myself... But I try to. I hope you can too, as I know, without really knowing you that your beauty undoubtedly radiates from you in all ways.

{{{{Allyson}}}} I'm so glad you've come here to talk to us and share your feelings. It's holding them in that does the most damage. I'm also sorry our reassurance can't help you, but you are doing the best thing possible for yourself with therapy and by being honest with us. It's one more reason for us to feel honored to know you, that we make you feel that safe. You have all my heartfelt wishes that this struggle inside youself diminishes and you find yourself believing in your success and self-worth the way we do.

Allyson, I don't know if it will mean anything coming from me, but I disagree with your demons on every count in the most strident way possible. You are very smart, wicked funny, and very attractive and easy on the eyes.