and they talk about THEIR dates and partners and children

God I'm glad I work at a place where people don't really move beyond the "How was your weekend?" part of the question, because I hate even that.

My button would suck: No, you can't catch it. Maybe I could add: I know Four Ways To Kill You With Ordinary Household Objects.

At a diversity day earlier this semester, the teachers were put in a really uncomfortable situation when we were asked to join the "silent movement" activity along with a a ton of the students. Basically the whole group was asked a number of questions about race/ethnicity/socioeconomic class/sexuality/ability/family structure and were supposed to step in the circle if we identified with each descriptor and then step back out. The idea was to get a true sense of the many aspects of diversity at our school. We didn't have to identify as anything--could have just stood still and pretended to be "normal," but that just doesn't sit right with me. I'm a role model, and I take that pretty seriously. If I'm not willing to identify myself, how can I expect to support those girls who do? But it meant that I had to out myself as bisexual to about 200 people. It was really friggin' uncomfortable. Luckily this is a very liberal and compassionate community, so I didn't experience any fallout. But it was really scary. Fwiw, I wouldn't have been as scared to identify as gay. Many teachers are openly gay on campus. But bisexual still seems more taboo. (Not implying in ANY WAY that it's easier to be gay than bi--just observing a truth of this particular environment.)

My button would suck: No, you can't catch it. Maybe I could add: I know Four Ways To Kill You With Ordinary Household Objects.

So, twelve ways?

The sash idea cracks me up. Married, Does Not Want Kids, Yes I Look Like This All The Time, I May Use You As A Horrible Example In My Book.

Yeah, I think what strikes you about that article and these conversations, that's so incredibly important to point out, is how it's so not about "PDAs" and getting it on in front the childrenz. I can't imagine how tough it is, how draining, on a day to day basis to be running up against all this, weighing options and predicting reactions before you can feel comfortable saying (or not saying) completely innocuous every day life stuff.

weighing options and predicting reactions before you can feel comfortable saying (or not saying) completely innocuous every day life stuff.

Yeah, some of it is just....how much do you say, and how much do you let people assume? And if you let them assume, do you take the risk that later, they'll be pissed?

"Do you have a boyfriend?" "Uh....no"

I like the sash idea. Vegetarian; single; yes, I do own a skirt; the sneakers are a necessity, not a fashion choice; mathematician; like any sports that give me some way to move faster than I usually can; will rant about US food and agriculture policy for hours if given an opening; if I seem standoffish, just keep talking to me, and I'll get comfortable enough to respond eventually.

I've noticed that, with the vegetarian thing, if I'm telling some story or whatever where the fact that I'm a vegetarian is relevant (like, talking about trying to find a restaurant or something), a huge number of people will respond with something like, "Oh, I could never do that, I LOVE meat." And the way I was saying it, it was pretty obvious that "I'm vegetarian" was leading into another sentence, but people seem to feel the need to interrupt me to tell me how much they love meat.

Also, there are the annoying people (the people who do this are almost always male and over 50) who'll immediately start asking things like, "Do you wear leather? Do you eat gelatin?" to try to catch me in a contradiction. I so don't understand the "I'm gonna show you that you haven't really thought through this decision you made nearly fifteen years ago" people.