But at that same time, you don't want to just avoid talking about it, because really that's not cool either....and yet...

I don't know, I don't really share many personal details with people at work. And I have a tendency to say my -ex, which is vague. In fact, a colleague at my last school thought I was a lesbian because I never used the term boyfriend and he knew that marriage equality was an important political issue for me--so he had just assumed I was a lesbian.

Okay, I kind of love the Gorey sash idea.

Divorced; Bisexual; Gay Dad/Divorced Parents; I'm Infertile, Stop Asking Me When I'm Going to Have Kids; Yes, I Live in Sin; Short & Blonde Does Not Equal Young and Stupid; I Can Teach Circles Around You, You Pompous Git.

People used to assume I was gay all the time. Not sure about now - I just don't meet that many new people these days....

People used to assume I was gay all the time. Not sure about now - I just don't meet that many new people these days...

I didn't really care, but it's not something I get often. It was particularly funny at the time because I was actually sleeping with someone in our circle of friends, but, since he was a dean and I was a faculty member, we weren't really telling people.

ETA: Personally, I didn’t think it was hard to hide our relationship, although I certainly wouldn’t want to have do that all the time. It was odd who could figure it out and who couldn’t based on the subtlest of clues.

Married, Have Preschooler, Military History Buff (Napoleonic Wars Subspecies), Liberal/Progressive AND Christian, Mariners Fan (disappointed but committed), Alabama Born and Bred (so don't diss my people as hillbillies or make "should've just let them secede" remarks in my hearing), Writer, Reader (stop trying to talk to me when my nose is in a book!), Dead Father/Mother Has Cancer (and if I want to talk about either, I'll tell you)

Well, yeah, I'm not necessarily big on telling people at work (and now that I'm working from home, it's not a thing--since we don't have "how was your weekend, what did you do?" chats, it's not a problem). But at the same time, when other people are chatting about what they did on the weekend, and you're making friends at work, and they're trying ot be nice because they know you just moved to town, and they talk about THEIR dates and partners and children...well, it's creepy and weird to be SILENT about it, and it's not cool to LIE about it...

I would rather be a little private. I would rather not give people ammunition. But I do not want to lie, and I do not think I should have to hide. It's a dilemma, what can I say? :)

People used to assume I was gay all the time. Not sure about now - I just don't meet that many new people these days...

Yeah, for those of us who are chronically single (feh), it sometimes feels like people are thinking "there must be a reason she never talks about who she's dating." Which, whatever, except I guess that that's probably compounding the chronically single.

and they talk about THEIR dates and partners and children

God I'm glad I work at a place where people don't really move beyond the "How was your weekend?" part of the question, because I hate even that.

My button would suck: No, you can't catch it. Maybe I could add: I know Four Ways To Kill You With Ordinary Household Objects.

At a diversity day earlier this semester, the teachers were put in a really uncomfortable situation when we were asked to join the "silent movement" activity along with a a ton of the students. Basically the whole group was asked a number of questions about race/ethnicity/socioeconomic class/sexuality/ability/family structure and were supposed to step in the circle if we identified with each descriptor and then step back out. The idea was to get a true sense of the many aspects of diversity at our school. We didn't have to identify as anything--could have just stood still and pretended to be "normal," but that just doesn't sit right with me. I'm a role model, and I take that pretty seriously. If I'm not willing to identify myself, how can I expect to support those girls who do? But it meant that I had to out myself as bisexual to about 200 people. It was really friggin' uncomfortable. Luckily this is a very liberal and compassionate community, so I didn't experience any fallout. But it was really scary. Fwiw, I wouldn't have been as scared to identify as gay. Many teachers are openly gay on campus. But bisexual still seems more taboo. (Not implying in ANY WAY that it's easier to be gay than bi--just observing a truth of this particular environment.)