Steph, I'm so feeling like starting a collection to kennel these pets!

I can afford it (not in an "I'm so fucking rich!" kind of way; just in the sense that yes, my bills are much less since moving in with The Boy, so I could feasibly pay for the zoo to go to a kennel), but the problem is what happens if Friend comes home and finds his house unliveable and so he can't pick up his pets? The kennel would have *my* credit card and I'd be fucked even more.

The Boy cares very much for his friends, and is very very very compassionate towards animals. And I love those traits. But I'm so afraid that this particular situation is going to lead to a "Who do you love more -- me or your deadbeat friend's pets?" situation. One assumes the answer would be easy, but I don't think it would be. I *know* The Boy, and he'd say "I love you, but we can't just send these innocent pets off to a shelter to be put down after 3 days!" Which I tend to agree with, except for the part where they're in MY HOUSE as an alternative.

I'm getting way too worked up about this, and shouldn't be assuming the worst case will happen. I don't want to create a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Also, I owe you e-mail, but it's not gonna happen tonight. I'm so sorry.

That's totally fine! I'm going to have a whole goddamn zoo descending on the house in probably an hour anyway, and I'm just going to try to hide in the bedroom, cry, and wish it was 10 days from now.

That's totally fine! I'm going to have a whole goddamn zoo descending on the house in probably an hour anyway, and I'm just going to try to hide in the bedroom, cry, and wish it was 10 days from now.

Oh, honey. Hang in there. I feel for you. I really, really do. I'm dog sitting this weekend myself, and it's going to be interesting (the dog gets bottled water, has a very specific schedule, and "eliminates" rather than pees and poops), but not nearly as interesting as your next 10 days, I bet.

I *know* The Boy, and he'd say "I love you, but we can't just send these innocent pets off to a shelter to be put down after 3 days!"

...and this is why I don't have pets. And register as "cold hearted bitch" on tests and such. Because I would. I mean, sure I'd ask my friends if they want the pets, and I'd put an ad on craigslist, and I'd tell the person whose pets they originally were that this was the plan, and I'd probably give some extra leeway, but...

Yeah. And if the BF were doing it, I'm enough of a bitch that I would say "I put an ad on Craigslist. If the pets aren't gone in ten days, you take them to the shelter. If you can't do that, I move out. I will cry and cry, in my new apartment. Without you."

Cause coldhearted bitch=I still feel, I just let my brain do the decisionmaking, not my heart.

[EDIT: Please note I am not in ANY way saying this is what Steph should do. Just saying this is me, and this is why I am not Steph!!!]

Even if this kid lives in a crack house, it would take a LOT of work to make it uninhabitable for animals. More work than most burglars have the time or inclination to engage in. Animals don't need a pristine environment--as long as there is running water and the windows close, they'll be fine.

Seriously, Steph, where does this guy live?!

I have no good advice, other than to repeat what everyone's already said. And sort of boggle at the fact that he doesn't have a tank for the lizard at home? (Or just couldn't transport it?)

...and this is why I don't have pets. And register as "cold hearted bitch" on tests and such. Because I would. I mean, sure I'd ask my friends if they want the pets, and I'd put an ad on craigslist, and I'd tell the person whose pets they originally were that this was the plan, and I'd probably give some extra leeway, but...

Yeah. And if the BF were doing it, I'm enough of a bitch that I would say "I put an ad on Craigslist. If the pets aren't gone in ten days, you take them to the shelter. If you can't do that, I move out. I will cry and cry, in my new apartment. Without you."

Cause coldhearted bitch=I still feel, I just let my brain do the decisionmaking, not my heart.

[EDIT: Please note I am not in ANY way saying this is what Steph should do. Just saying this is me, and this is why I am not Steph!!!]

Meara is me. Well, except for the part where she let them in in the first place.

Tep, you might just want to tell the Boy: "Let's be clear. I need some boundaries and I need you to help set them some time. I understand this is a special and unusual situation, but this has to be the exception and this can't end with more animals living with us permanently. There's a time limit on it, and that's about all I can handle. I understand that there are people in your life that you want to extend this courtesy to. I'm just saying that had needs to be a short list and this is the exception not the rule."

I totally agree. And if I said that to The Boy, *he* would totally agree.

And then, if it happened that Friend couldn't take pets back, the "time limit" would keep getting extended, bit by bit by bit by bit, because The Boy is too kind-hearted.

Which balances me out well, since I'm a stone bitch.

Even if this kid lives in a crack house, it would take a LOT of work to make it uninhabitable for animals. More work than most burglars have the time or inclination to engage in. Animals don't need a pristine environment--as long as there is running water and the windows close, they'll be fine.

Copper theft is HUGE right now. You know, like copper pipes? That make the water run?

And sort of boggle at the fact that he doesn't have a tank for the lizard at home? (Or just couldn't transport it?)

He does have a tank for the lizard at home. Well, it's more like a huge plexiglass corral/tank that's, IIRC, 5 feet long. The tank we managed to borrow....is not 5 feet long. I think the lizard is going to be really cramped and unhappy. And....not my fault. Not my responsibility.

All I can think is what a huge inconvenience this is, and The Boy keeps saying how fun it's going to be to have extra pets. Yeah, fun right up until they all start marking their territory.

Good luck, Teppy. I hope you don't have to make any tough decisions and the kid comes back, gets his pets and lives happily ever after.

Friend needs to spay the cat. Period. I'd be willing to donate to that fund.

Friend is not deliberately taking advantage, in a malicious way; he just has no structure whatsoever to his life. And that's fine, until his lack of structure fucks up MY structured life. He's thoughtless in a can-think-only-about-himself way, not a how-can-I-screw-my friend way, although the upshot is essentially the same -- because he's thoughtless and has arranged his life so as to have very little responsibility, it's led to problems following in his wake, which he leaves for other people to clean up. Which I have a sinking suspicion is going to happen here.

Might I suggest the book Boundaries?

Because facilitating this guy's irresponsible behavior may not actually be a kind-hearted thing.