I'm actually more worried about the iguana being let out of the cage with the cats around.

The iguana is HUGE. The cats will just flee for the basement.

Unaltered cats? What, is the friend crazy?

Yup. She's a chocolate-point Siamese, but not with papers or anything; he got her from a friend. He kept her unspayed because he said that he planned to breed her. Because, yeah, like someone will pay hundreds of dollars for a kitten from a mom cat with no papers.

(He's not dumb, just in his 20s and unable to plan further ahead than next week.)

If it were me, I'd demand that the friend have a backup contingency plan of another friend who will take the brood on the appointed day if anything untoward should happen.

He literally doesn't have any other friends who he can trust with his house, and I have no idea who could take the animals. *We* are the backup plan, which is MASSIVELY unfair.

He has to give you the contact info for the backup in case you two are the ones to transport the livestock on the appointed day.

Uh, yeah. Transport. Friend, who lives 40 minutes away by car, doesn't have a reliable car. So right now The Boy is driving up there to get the pets and then bringing them back, 40 minutes each way. In my car.

(Friend is not deliberately taking advantage, in a malicious way; he just has no structure whatsoever to his life. And that's fine, until his lack of structure fucks up MY structured life. He's thoughtless in a can-think-only-about-himself way, not a how-can-I-screw-my friend way, although the upshot is essentially the same -- because he's thoughtless and has arranged his life so as to have very little responsibility, it's led to problems following in his wake, which he leaves for other people to clean up. Which I have a sinking suspicion is going to happen here.)

The Boy is a kind hearted lad, to be sure. And? Having had a similar situation years ago, I'd make super duper clear that 10 days is the limit or YOU will pick where the pets go next.

Well, like I said, Friend is *also* The Boy's ex-GF's son, and Friend is going to visit his mom. It's all complicated.

And since Friend is The Boy's ex-GF's son, there's only so much I can say in the way of "These pets are here for only 10 days, and then I don't care if they have to live under a bridge, they are out of here on Day 10."

This has the potential to go very, very, VERY badly. Because *if* his house is unliveable when he gets back in town, there truly is no place for the pets to go. The Boy would never send them to an animal shelter; he's too compassionate for that. No-kill shelters around here have waiting lists.

All I can do is cross my fingers and pray. I tried really hard to get The Boy to tell Friend we couldn't do it, but in the end, if we couldn't take the pets, Friend couldn't go visit his mom and see his sister graduate. (And no, Friend's mom [The Boy's ex] didn't have the money -- or didn't offer -- to pay for Friend to put the pets in a kennel while Friend was visiting.)

I'm trying to not automatically assume worst-case scenario, but I can't help it, based on all past experience with Friend.

And where the hell does this guy live, Oz?

Right? It's the fucking 'hood, very seriously. He lives there because it's cheap and because it's close to his job, so he can walk/take a bus, since his car is always fucked up (which is why The Boy is driving up there literally right now, IN MY CAR, to pick up Friend's pets and bring them back down here).

I am SO not nice enough to EVER do ANYONE that huge of a favor. It's not just the pet-sitting, which is bad enough (and I swear to Christ, if Friend *doesn't* send food for the pets I am going to kick his ASS), it's the fact that he wanted The Boy to stay there, in a really unsafe neighborhood, for 10 days by himself and just commute 80 miles a day to work.

It's not deliberate advantage-taking; it's just utter lack to plan ANYTHING and assuming that you're mom's ex-BF will help you out. (Which, as it turns out, is what's happening.)

Does the iguana have a cage? It might be a good idea if he just stayed there.

ION, the mouth itching is driving me mad. I think I prefer pain.

Does the iguana have a cage? It might be a good idea if he just stayed there.

We have a tank for the iguana. It's not really big enough, but Friend is unable to come up with an alternative. In fact, *we* had to find the tank and borrow it from someone else in order to have the joy of keeping a reptile for 10 days, because Friend couldn't provide a tank and couldn't begin to come up with ideas as to where we could get one.

Friend said that when people go out of town in his neighborhood and leave their pets at home, the people come back to really really really gruesome tableaux of dead pets. Think Angelus nailing a puppy to a tree. So he can't really just leave the iguana there.

I'm starting to think friend needs a new neighborhood. To which he can come back, and take his many interesting pets!

Steph, I'm so feeling like starting a collection to kennel these pets!

Also, I owe you e-mail, but it's not gonna happen tonight. I'm so sorry.

Tep, you might just want to tell the Boy: "Let's be clear. I need some boundaries and I need you to help set them some time. I understand this is a special and unusual situation, but this has to be the exception and this can't end with more animals living with us permanently. There's a time limit on it, and that's about all I can handle. I understand that there are people in your life that you want to extend this courtesy to. I'm just saying that had needs to be a short list and this is the exception not the rule."

Steph, I'm so feeling like starting a collection to kennel these pets!

I can afford it (not in an "I'm so fucking rich!" kind of way; just in the sense that yes, my bills are much less since moving in with The Boy, so I could feasibly pay for the zoo to go to a kennel), but the problem is what happens if Friend comes home and finds his house unliveable and so he can't pick up his pets? The kennel would have *my* credit card and I'd be fucked even more.

The Boy cares very much for his friends, and is very very very compassionate towards animals. And I love those traits. But I'm so afraid that this particular situation is going to lead to a "Who do you love more -- me or your deadbeat friend's pets?" situation. One assumes the answer would be easy, but I don't think it would be. I *know* The Boy, and he'd say "I love you, but we can't just send these innocent pets off to a shelter to be put down after 3 days!" Which I tend to agree with, except for the part where they're in MY HOUSE as an alternative.

I'm getting way too worked up about this, and shouldn't be assuming the worst case will happen. I don't want to create a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Also, I owe you e-mail, but it's not gonna happen tonight. I'm so sorry.

That's totally fine! I'm going to have a whole goddamn zoo descending on the house in probably an hour anyway, and I'm just going to try to hide in the bedroom, cry, and wish it was 10 days from now.

That's totally fine! I'm going to have a whole goddamn zoo descending on the house in probably an hour anyway, and I'm just going to try to hide in the bedroom, cry, and wish it was 10 days from now.

Oh, honey. Hang in there. I feel for you. I really, really do. I'm dog sitting this weekend myself, and it's going to be interesting (the dog gets bottled water, has a very specific schedule, and "eliminates" rather than pees and poops), but not nearly as interesting as your next 10 days, I bet.

I *know* The Boy, and he'd say "I love you, but we can't just send these innocent pets off to a shelter to be put down after 3 days!"

...and this is why I don't have pets. And register as "cold hearted bitch" on tests and such. Because I would. I mean, sure I'd ask my friends if they want the pets, and I'd put an ad on craigslist, and I'd tell the person whose pets they originally were that this was the plan, and I'd probably give some extra leeway, but...

Yeah. And if the BF were doing it, I'm enough of a bitch that I would say "I put an ad on Craigslist. If the pets aren't gone in ten days, you take them to the shelter. If you can't do that, I move out. I will cry and cry, in my new apartment. Without you."

Cause coldhearted bitch=I still feel, I just let my brain do the decisionmaking, not my heart.

[EDIT: Please note I am not in ANY way saying this is what Steph should do. Just saying this is me, and this is why I am not Steph!!!]

Even if this kid lives in a crack house, it would take a LOT of work to make it uninhabitable for animals. More work than most burglars have the time or inclination to engage in. Animals don't need a pristine environment--as long as there is running water and the windows close, they'll be fine.