But I need major MA Major major major. My cousin, who is a wonderful soul, has a godawful biological contributor. Horrible. Who has no part of his life except briefly talking to him and being mean to him.

He wants to come to the funeral.

Please I need vibes and prayers that this doesn't happen. We don't need this. My aunt doesn't need this.

This is a father who wants to come to his son's funeral? I'll contribute Miraclous Personality Change~Ma.

A death brings out....something, in even the worst people. He's undoubtedly thinking only of himself, and thinking that he deserves to be there, and maybe thinking it'll bring closure. (Although it certainly doesn't sound like he ever had enough of a relationship with your cousin to need closure.)

Anyway. I'm sending all my good thoughts that it turns out for the best, whether that means he stays away, or shows for the funeral but attends quietly and leaves quietly.

And, always, all my good thoughts with you and your family, Ali.

My something has arrived!

hmm. Definitely not worth $10. I'm not even sure what it is. I guess it's a pride necklace so at least I'll have something to wear to the polls in November.

Dog-related question: we're pet-sitting (in our home) a friend's lizard, cat, and dog for the next week or so.

(NOT my idea; The Boy is a very generous person who will do anything to help out a buddy. However, this means we'll have 3 dogs, 3 cats, and a giant prehistoric-looking lizard all in a house that's less than 900 square feet.)

Is there a recommended way to introduce Guest Dog to our 2 dogs? We considered letting them all "meet" in the backyard, but I thought that might not be a specific enough way to make it clear to our 2 dogs that yes, Guest Dog is here for a week.

The Boy thought we could put our 2 in the backyard, bring Guest Dog in the house, and then bring our 2 into the house, but I think that's a horrible way to undermine our 2 dogs' status as The Dogs Who Were Here First.

What we settled on -- unless anyone has a better suggestion -- is to have our 2 in the house, and The Boy will bring Guest Dog in the front door. That way (1) Guest Dog understands that this house belongs to Other Dogs Who Were Here First, and (2) hopefully the fact that The Boy will be bringing in Guest Dog will make the point to our 2 that Guest Dog is here on purpose, that we want her here.

Oy. I am not looking forward to this zoo. We're pet-sitting because the friend (much more a friend of The Boy's than of me, although he's a nice guy) doesn't have any other friends who he'd trust to stay at his house and not trash it by throwing wild parties.

The friend lives in a really dodgy part of town, about 40 minutes away, and wanted The Boy to stay there for a week, because Friend is worried that if his place looks unoccupied, it'll get robbed. I put my foot down and said, wait a minute -- if where Friend lives is so unsafe that he expects to get robbed as soon as he goes out of town, I *do NOT* want my boyfriend staying there by himself!

Plus, a 40-minute one-way drive to work every day (and back again) is a LOT of gas, and The Boy's car is dodgy at best. (He currently has a 2-mile commute, so his car can handle that.)

Friend can't afford to put his pets in a kennel. I seriously considered paying for a kennel just to not have an extra dog, extra cat, and lizard for over a week. This house barely fits us and 2 dogs and 2 cats.

What I'm fearing will happen is this -- Friend told The Boy that he's expecting to come back from vacation and find his place broken into, trashed, and unfit for habitation. Gee, if that happens, what's he going to do with his pets? Oh, let's see -- maybe....leave them with the people he's already foisted them off on? This is the Friend who lived with The Boy for a few months (with the lizard and cat), and when he moved out, left the cat here, saying that he couldn't find an apartment that would let him have a cat. The un-spayed cat who went into heat, got outside, got knocked up, and had 3 kittens in The Boy's closet, thus foisting not 1, but 4 extra cats on The Boy. And Friend did nothing about it.

Before I moved in, I told The Boy that my allergies are bad enough; cat #3 wasn't even *his* cat, and Friend needed to take his cat back before I could live there. And so Friend finally took his cat back. But now we're getting her back again, along with a dog and a lizard, allegedly for only 10 days.

I've already told The Boy many MANY times, emphatically, that I don't care if Friend's house is nuked from orbit; he HAS TO take his pets back the day he gets back in town.

But really? If his house is unliveable, he won't be able to take his pets, and he doesn't have any other place to take them, and we're going to get shafted SO BADLY. I have such a bad feeling about this whole thing.

(Friend is actually the son of The Boy's ex-GF, who lived with The Boy for 3 years. And Friend is going out of town to visit his mom [The Boy's ex] and see his sister graduate from high school. So saying "No, we can't watch your pets because we don't have room and my current GF is allergic to cats" would never have been an option. Because Friend doesn't have any other friends who he would trust to stay (continued...)

( continues...) at his house and watch the pets there, and since he can't afford a kennel, if we couldn't watch the pets, then Friend would have had to cancel his trip. And since the trip is to see his mom [The Boy's ex] and sister [who considered The Boy a stepdad], there is no way The Boy would let Friend NOT go out of town.)

I'm going to spend the next week praying that nothing happens to Friend's house (or, at the very least, nothing bad enough to make his house unliveable). I have no idea what the fuck we'll do if he can't take his pets back. Well, no, I *do* know: we'll have to keep them.

Anyway -- any ideas on how to introduce Guest Dog to our 2?

I'd keep it simple and let 'em all meet in the yard -- there's no way on earth you can either undermine or establish anyone's status amongst the three of them. Just remember yours, and that your only rules for this game are no fighting and no marking in YOUR house.

As for staying a week, they'll figure out it when the new critter doesn't leave after the play date.

Major ~ma for the friend's house Tep. No bad happenings of ANY kind.

As for the dogs. The very best method is to meet the friend somewhere away from the house. A park where they can sniff each other out is best. Then pack them up and take them home together. Your dogs go in first but the 'intruder' tension will be reduced if they are not meeting on their turf.

I'm actually more worried about the iguana being let out of the cage with the cats around.

Unaltered cats? What, is the friend crazy?

If it were me, I'd demand that the friend have a backup contingency plan of another friend who will take the brood on the appointed day if anything untoward should happen. He has to give you the contact info for the backup in case you two are the ones to transport the livestock on the appointed day.

Phew. The Boy is a kind hearted lad, to be sure. And? Having had a similar situation years ago, I'd make super duper clear that 10 days is the limit or YOU will pick where the pets go next.

Oy. I can see where Boy didn't see another option, but oy. And where the hell does this guy live, Oz?

I'm actually more worried about the iguana being let out of the cage with the cats around.

The iguana is HUGE. The cats will just flee for the basement.

Unaltered cats? What, is the friend crazy?

Yup. She's a chocolate-point Siamese, but not with papers or anything; he got her from a friend. He kept her unspayed because he said that he planned to breed her. Because, yeah, like someone will pay hundreds of dollars for a kitten from a mom cat with no papers.

(He's not dumb, just in his 20s and unable to plan further ahead than next week.)

If it were me, I'd demand that the friend have a backup contingency plan of another friend who will take the brood on the appointed day if anything untoward should happen.

He literally doesn't have any other friends who he can trust with his house, and I have no idea who could take the animals. *We* are the backup plan, which is MASSIVELY unfair.

He has to give you the contact info for the backup in case you two are the ones to transport the livestock on the appointed day.

Uh, yeah. Transport. Friend, who lives 40 minutes away by car, doesn't have a reliable car. So right now The Boy is driving up there to get the pets and then bringing them back, 40 minutes each way. In my car.

(Friend is not deliberately taking advantage, in a malicious way; he just has no structure whatsoever to his life. And that's fine, until his lack of structure fucks up MY structured life. He's thoughtless in a can-think-only-about-himself way, not a how-can-I-screw-my friend way, although the upshot is essentially the same -- because he's thoughtless and has arranged his life so as to have very little responsibility, it's led to problems following in his wake, which he leaves for other people to clean up. Which I have a sinking suspicion is going to happen here.)

The Boy is a kind hearted lad, to be sure. And? Having had a similar situation years ago, I'd make super duper clear that 10 days is the limit or YOU will pick where the pets go next.

Well, like I said, Friend is *also* The Boy's ex-GF's son, and Friend is going to visit his mom. It's all complicated.

And since Friend is The Boy's ex-GF's son, there's only so much I can say in the way of "These pets are here for only 10 days, and then I don't care if they have to live under a bridge, they are out of here on Day 10."

This has the potential to go very, very, VERY badly. Because *if* his house is unliveable when he gets back in town, there truly is no place for the pets to go. The Boy would never send them to an animal shelter; he's too compassionate for that. No-kill shelters around here have waiting lists.

All I can do is cross my fingers and pray. I tried really hard to get The Boy to tell Friend we couldn't do it, but in the end, if we couldn't take the pets, Friend couldn't go visit his mom and see his sister graduate. (And no, Friend's mom [The Boy's ex] didn't have the money -- or didn't offer -- to pay for Friend to put the pets in a kennel while Friend was visiting.)

I'm trying to not automatically assume worst-case scenario, but I can't help it, based on all past experience with Friend.

And where the hell does this guy live, Oz?

Right? It's the fucking 'hood, very seriously. He lives there because it's cheap and because it's close to his job, so he can walk/take a bus, since his car is always fucked up (which is why The Boy is driving up there literally right now, IN MY CAR, to pick up Friend's pets and bring them back down here).

I am SO not nice enough to EVER do ANYONE that huge of a favor. It's not just the pet-sitting, which is bad enough (and I swear to Christ, if Friend *doesn't* send food for the pets I am going to kick his ASS), it's the fact that he wanted The Boy to stay there, in a really unsafe neighborhood, for 10 days by himself and just commute 80 miles a day to work.

It's not deliberate advantage-taking; it's just utter lack to plan ANYTHING and assuming that you're mom's ex-BF will help you out. (Which, as it turns out, is what's happening.)

Does the iguana have a cage? It might be a good idea if he just stayed there.

ION, the mouth itching is driving me mad. I think I prefer pain.

Does the iguana have a cage? It might be a good idea if he just stayed there.

We have a tank for the iguana. It's not really big enough, but Friend is unable to come up with an alternative. In fact, *we* had to find the tank and borrow it from someone else in order to have the joy of keeping a reptile for 10 days, because Friend couldn't provide a tank and couldn't begin to come up with ideas as to where we could get one.

Friend said that when people go out of town in his neighborhood and leave their pets at home, the people come back to really really really gruesome tableaux of dead pets. Think Angelus nailing a puppy to a tree. So he can't really just leave the iguana there.