I've got to be honest, the mischievous dog made me wince. It puts a bit too much "Oh, how cute" into a story that sounds serious and significant. The rest of it sounds like "how do we counter this wizard, who everyone loves adn trusts and depends on but who may not have our best interests in mind," then it goes "aw, look at the cute doggie." Is the dog a significant part of the plot, or more of a simple companion? Maybe call it "troublemaking" or even "rambunctious"?
Oh, this whole thing sounds horribly nitpicking, but there it is, for what it's worth.
Actually, I think that's a very good point. If I needed to make a real pitch, I'd take your advice. The dog is a serious character because he's really the only being (for lack of a better word) the protagonist is comfortable talking with at first.
If the dog is more than cute comic relief, it's fine, I think. Think of the dog in
The Stand.
He mattered.
Also, it is for kids. Kids like cute, and it's okay to give it to them sometimes.
I'm good with the dog, but it's the difference between Benji and Cujo.
I'm good with the dog, but it's the difference between Benji and Cujo.
And like I said, sometimes cute is okay, especially for kids.
Think of the dog in Harlan Ellison's "A Boy and His Dog."
The only problem I had with the Mischievous Dog was where he was listed. The list of companions was like, Build, Build, Build...Fizzle. I thought maybe that was purposeful, and going for funny, but I'm not sure it quite worked. But listing the dog first, then building to a Brawling Princess? I'm in.
Noted. As I'm plotting it, the dog probably will be clever rather than mischievous, mischievous just won't fit the plot as I have it coming together. Now, I just need to plot it so the dog doesn't die at the end. I'm not a fan of dead dog stories. The major points I had, but I've got to tie them all together and fill in the details.
My daughter has also informed me that Trine is the name of a video game, so I'll have to change that. I still need a name from the Brawling Princess too. The others I've got: Cloud, Smoke, Moon, and Varden.
Give the princess a fluttery, girly name ... to play off her penchant for tavern brawls?
As many parents discover, you don't always get what you expect.
