Don't bomb them with a blanket mass e-query, don't slip a manuscript beneath the door of a bathroom stall, and make sure you know what gender an agent is before you address the salutation and you should be good.

Seriously-- my agent is up to something like 180 queries on the same book, from the same guy. He just keeps sending them, every few days, like guerrilla warfare. He even numbers them in the subject line.

Wow, with the same book? Why would you even think that would work?

My plan is short, controlled bursts, just a few at a time. I've still got to do a final go-over and writing a synopsis to have at the ready before trying to forge queries. And that's after finishing this revision (80% done).

I'll be sending out a short story before then, but that's not quite the same kettle of ducks.

I got letters like that with submissions all the time. "This is the next New York Times bestseller! Together, we're going to make piles of money!"

My favorite submissions were always the ones from prison, though. Which is not the same thing, but was always highly amusing.

Barb, we get those guys at our pissant litmag too...did that one ever write a poem about the hypothalamus? Because he needs a hobby desperately. Sometimes I'm not sure why I'm writing this novel.

I started listening to a copy of Twilight I checked out from the library. I got curious because I keep hearing alternatively how good (my aunt just commented that is was really well written) or how bad it is, and I figured it might be an interesting thing for my blog. (http://www.iplayawriter.com).

I don't think I was really prepared for how dull it has been so far. Though the dullness may be largely because I am not now, nor have I ever been a teenage girl.

On the novel front I'm now about 75% through my current revision and my wife is kindly looking through it finding errors (not many so far :)) and suggesting adjustments (a fair number of those, though they help chip away at word count). I think it's significantly improved since the days people were generously beta reading here.

I've also replaced some of the names to make them a bit more fantasy-ish out of concern of taking some readers out of the story. I'm going for not-contemporary but pronounceable with characters from the same locations sharing name roots. The MC is no longer named Aimee. It's sort of sad.

I don't think I was really prepared for how dull it has been so far. Though the dullness may be largely because I am not now, nor have I ever been a teenage girl.

I have been a teenage girl, and I still found it dull.

I'm not a writer and I don't pretend to be any great authority on what constitutes good writing, but I definitely don't think that Twilight qualifies. I'm not even sure what compelled me to keep reading (as I have, embarrassingly, read all four) but it was absolutely not the quality of the writing.

And, I'm sure it's been discussed before so I'm sorry to ask again, what what kind of book are you writing?

It's a fantasy novel sort of slotting into the epic fantasy subgenre. A fast-paced adventure with a bit of romance showing up as well.

This is the Writer’s Prayer. This is the Penmonkey’s Paean.

Thank you, Tom. Please note new tag.

Now I must go print that out and prepare to tell Hubby not to ask silly questions when I tape it up on my desk.

Four days into my misadventure with Twilight, I now hate both main characters.