I'm so sorry, Allyson.

I know it happens. Just, you know. kicks rock

Sorry Allyson. You don't suck it's a tough business.

Ugh Allyson, I'm sorry. You don't suck, it's the process that sucks. I know it has to be this way, but it's hard to gird yourself for rejection.

And just so's you know, you are still my hero and I STILL aspire to have the kind of guts you have to pursue writing.

Thanks, Burrell! That's actually kind of cheering me! I've gone from totally emo to glum.

I decided to go big with my story. During the next revision I'll have to add a new 35 to cap off the first part. Then the old 35 will be chapter 1 of Book 2. The old 35 makes for a good opening of book 2.

I didn't have much time last night, but I chipped away at 54. I'm hoping to get this chapter done one day. Actually, I'm probably close to being done, I'll just be ending the chapter earlier in the story than I originally planned to.

I'm a little stalled, but I'm still close to finishing this revision. I'll also see what beta readers have to say, maybe I'll end up deciding that going small will be the better course, but for now the plan is big. The comments I've gotten from my wife and beta exchange person number 2 have motivated me to the big route.

I think going big is smart, Gud. Even if you decide sometime down the road to make it one book and distill it down, you'll know all the parts you've written and that'll make what you keep richer, imho.

And fantasy does lend itself to big, it seems.

I've been pondering whether I sent out too early a draft to beta readers. On the one hand, since I'm planning on doing substantial work, I can consider pretty much any comment since I'm very open to change. On the other hand, I might eliminate or rewrite scenes where someone pointed out an error and I feel sort of guilty about wasting someone's time.

I've had both experiences on the other side. I had one guy thank me for all my comments then tell me he wasn't going to actually change anything because he had it the way he wanted it. I mean okay you might disagree with my comments and that's fine, I'm no expert, but I got the impression he didn't even consider them.

I also had someone restart throw the opening chapter twice after I did some extensive critiquing. It didn't really bother me, but I can see it bothering people.

And fantasy does lend itself to big, it seems.

I think big is pretty popular for epic fantasy, but from what I've read 120k is about as big as you can get in fantasy for a first-time author in terms of marketability, at least nowadays.

The plus side is that splitting will make it easy to hit that range and let me beef up a storyline that both my wife and beta exchange person thought was not developed enough. The minus side is that the first book concludes with the bad guy winning and winning pretty big.

I also feel like worrying too much about marketability is sort of silly since I've very unlikely to get anywhere. This book is a lot more about learning what I'm doing. I'll still give it a shot and make it a marketable length, but I'm going to stick with the odd ending on the first book 'cause it's a totally natural splitting place.

I found printed out chapters in all in disarray on my desk. Apparently my daughter has been into them. I need to make sure that chapters 31 and 38 aren't anywhere to be found.