I think it will be a great gift.

I agree with your instinct about sacred and dropping "you know."

These lines seem a bit awkwardly long:

some circled confusedly, like dogs whose noses have lost the scent-trail,

to move further into what it is that they cannot yet comprehend.

Would these work?

some circled confusedly, like dogs who have lost the scent-trail,

to move further into that which they cannot yet comprehend.

That does help clarify! Thanks for the feeback.

For me, in poetry, less is always more.

some circled confusedly, like dogs whose noses have lost the scent-trail,

to move further into what it is that they cannot yet comprehend.

some circled like dogs who've lost the scent-trail

to move further into what they cannot yet comprehend.

Spoken aloud, both those shorter lines have a nice forward rhythm, too. Something I find invaluable about poetry: movement. Sometimes the delight of movement will carry you over an inconvenient word or a slightly off-kilter image, a smooth rhythm incorporating the oddness and making the poem both more cohesive and more memorable.

And sometimes it just sounds wrong. Poetry should always be spoken aloud, walking, if possible. I do it with fiction as well but, at least for me, hearing it moving is essential.

I never understood Shakespeare until I heard it read and performed. The hearing of it brought it to life. It's true for all poetry, I think.

Ne'mind.

I never understood Shakespeare until I heard it read and performed. The hearing of it brought it to life. It's true for all poetry, I think.

Taking that one step further, Bev, I never fully appreciated Shakespeare until the Ken Branagh adaptations because of his insistence that the dialogue be spoken as conversationally as possible as opposed to with a theatrical inflection. It was amazing how much more devastating Henry V was and how hilariously funny Much Ado was.

because of his insistence that the dialogue be spoken as conversationally as possible

The scene between Harry and Kate in Henry V is even funnier than I could believe, I had to look it up to make sure the lines were as said, especially the "Here comes your father" right after they kiss.

Thanks for the feedback, y'all. Those lines did scan a little bulky to me.

My copy-edited manuscript arrived on the doorstep today.

This is no reason to freak out, I know.

Does that knowledge stop me from freaking out a bit? Ha.

Just keep in mind, Jilli, the copy editor is generally not your actual editor and that the power of STET is yours.

Especially if the C.E. is being a noodge.

I lucked out. My copy editor is awesome. I'm doing the second pass on the copy edits today, and then the manuscript gets mailed back.

In other JilliBook news, my editor let me know that the publisher and editorial director read the manuscript and are really pleased with it! But they're worried that the current cover design isn't elegant and gothy enough, so they want the art department to come up with some more designs. The current design is the standard Lady of the Manners portrait in black, white, and red, on a black background (matte, with gloss black pinstripes).

I'm assuming the publisher and editorial director reading and being pleased with the manuscript is kind of a big deal, yes?