My grandmother couldn't keep up the "how's your social life" ficton. She'd ask the question in just that way, and I'd answer however I wanted, and then she'd say, "you know that's not the social life I'm asking about!"

Ha! Ah, grandmas. They're all the same underneath it all.

My mom knows I'll tell her if something happens (in some universe somewhere in another time-space).

It's exactly like that with my close family. If I have news, ANY kind of news, I'll tell. The rest is my business.

I think tonight I'll go between a short sharp "no" and hysterical giggling to answer that question.

My grandmother couldn't keep up the "how's your social life" ficton. She'd ask the question in just that way, and I'd answer however I wanted, and then she'd say, "you know that's not the social life I'm asking about!"

Classic!

At Jewish weddings, people have a tendency to go over to the single folks, especially siblings of the bride or groom, and say "Im Yirtzeh Hashem (G*d willing), by you." It's pithy and borderline obnoxious, but that's how we are sometimes.

I had a friend who wore a pin to his brother's wedding that said "Im Yirtzeh Hashem, by me". Then when people approached, he'd simply reference the pin, smile and walk away.

I don't often smile brightly, so when I do, it tends to make people nervous.

...and suddenly I'm flashing on Addams Family Values. It's a good flash.

I am working at home today, because my cat Pico still isn't well. He's been eating, but only when I stick the food in his face. And he's really stressed out about being isolated while I was at work yesterday and spent most of last night hiding from me. I think he thought he was being punished. Poor cat. He seems better still today, but I'm trying to just let him be, keep him fed and hydrated and hoping his anxiety will go down.

I am calling for pad see eiw as soon as the restaurant opens.

"No, Thank God."

I've responded with "Now why would I do that?" and laughing.

I've definitely responded like this to the marriage question, but generally only when I felt the person was one to use my yes/no answer as some sort of benchmark of success.

Luckily, one of my aunts thinks I shouldn't get married because it's totally bourgeois and archaic and why would any woman really want to?

I like "that's an awfully personal question" with a smile. It even says none of your business, but delivered in the right tone, it's disarming. Then, immediately change the subject. If they persist, then you can be rude. Cause they started it.

I like this for when you don't want to be all aggressive about it.

For the "boyfriend" question, I generally reply "I'm not seeing anyone right now."

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

Answers I've used:

"Why? Are you asking me out?"

"I never make plans that far in advance."

"One in every port."

And, my favorite, used for all occasions when I want to be kind but get the MYOB across:

"Can you keep a secret?"

--"yes!"

"So can I". And smile sweetly.

The Truth is out there

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