Miss Manners says that you only have to give a gift if you go, not if you're just invited)

Oh, no. Well, she probably wouldn't say "have to," but if you are invited, you should send a gift. The gift is not repayment, it's an expression of your good wishes.

I dunno. I view "and guest" invites as essentially similar to offering a vegetarian option, or having some crayons and games at a kiddie table. If it can't be done, it can't, and guests should be understanding and certainly shouldn't demand special accommodations. But presumably you'd like your guests to have a reasonably good time, or why bother with the whole thing? (And it sounds like JZ & Hec went above and beyond. Which is not surprising.)

I think of the weddings & receptions I was invited to, the one where I knew the fewest people was actually my brother's. If I couldn't have brought a friend, I'd have coped, but ugh. And in that case it's not like I could have skipped it, or ducked out early.

Dear people,

You requested part of a conference proceeding from a conference that took place at one of the smaller universities in India in 1981. No, I can not just download it for you.

Please to be dealing with that fact.

OKTHNXBYE

Miss Manners pointedly notes that one is NEVER obligated to give a gift at a wedding or any other event for that matter, for the very reason, as Strega notes, that a gift is not a payment for anything, it is an expression of good will.

She also thinks gift registries are tacky; she's not willing to compromise for the modern world! And I think she would politely shudder at the "+ 1" phenomenon, but I don;t have a cite to hand.

I found this

But the innovations that are most widely followed, even by those who resent them, are vulgar, impractical or nonsensical -- and almost always expensive. Here are some that Miss Manners refuses to sanction:

. . .

That hosts must allow anyone who is single to bring along that ubiquitous person known as "And Guest." And Guest doesn't know the hosts or care about the wedding, and if left at home, would allow the person who was invited to meet someone better disposed toward the occasion.

In other news, I was just wondering about the NBA playoffs, and right now it's Celtics/Pistons and Lakers/Spurs. What is this, the 80s??

In other news, I was just wondering about the NBA playoffs, and right now it's Celtics/Pistons and Lakers/Spurs. What is this, the 80s??

I had the same nagging sensation the other night.

What is this, the 80s??

Just without the stars...

Actually, I never think about the Spurs in that pantheon, but I guess they can work.

Specialist never called back. If I thought the ER could page him I might try the ER, but I have no faith. Pisser.

Of course, Isiah Thomas just got canned from the Knicks, so some things have changed.

Actually, I never think about the Spurs in that pantheon, but I guess they can work.

The Admiral! They were definitely at least semi-finals worthy.

It's the "must" that she's objecting to:

Allowing single guests who aren’t attached to a significant other to bring a date is a thoughtful gesture, but one that is not required.

followed by

It is impolite of a guest to ask if he or she can bring a date—but it is not impolite of you to refuse.

[link]