I like Teppy's solution.

Embrace the weirdness. Wear leather gauntlets to your wedding.

If you could invite the gladiatrix, that might make the inevitable wedding fight EVEN BETTER!

She could burst out of the wedding cake....

I think the lesson here is, "Don't fuck the kind of person who goes on to be a contestant on American Gladiators."

(Note, I know absolutely nothing about the show, so if any of you are in fact contestants, I mean you no insult.)

Oy, Bon Bon, that is so sticky. Hopefully PP will understand that it is sort of an impossible situation.

Bob and his brother are very close, his brother just happens to be kind of a selfish asshole.

I know you didn't ask, but IMNSHO, this is where Bob needs to step up and call his brother and say "look, this is my wedding, and either you get to be happy or I get to be happy. Did I mention that this is MY wedding? Because I will be pissed at you the entire time because you can't manage to spend three hours in a room with someone that you're mad at over something that happened FIVE YEARS AGO. Yes, you were wronged, and it was a shitty thing to do, but it's been over for a while. Think about it and call me back. If I don't hear from you, that means that you've decided to be a grown up and get over it."

People know who Edward Gorey is, right?

Here is an excellent photo of him: [link]

I know you didn't ask, but IMNSHO, this is where Bob needs to step up and call his brother and say "look, this is my wedding, and either you get to be happy or I get to be happy. Did I mention that this is MY wedding? Because I will be pissed at you the entire time because you can't manage to spend three hours in a room with someone that you're mad at over something that happened FIVE YEARS AGO. Yes, you were wronged, and it was a shitty thing to do, but it's been over for a while. Think about it and call me back. If I don't hear from you, that means that you've decided to be a grown up and get over it."

Because Broseph is the kind of guy who REALLY carries a grudge. He is threatening not to go to his only brother's wedding, the person to whom he is closest to in the world! Aggression doesn't work with him; he hyper-aggresses back. So he won't go to the wedding, and Bob Bob will lose a brother. Or he WILL go to the wedding, get drunk, and start something with PP.

That's really annoying. So, Bob gets to choose between losing a brother and losing his best friend. Nice. Clearly, he's not that close to Bob, if he's willing to throw away the relationship on some bullshit like this.

I think this is a situation for Dr. Phil.

(Ah ha ha ha ha I just had an image in my head of bon bon taking on Dr. Phil and making him cry. Oh what a wunnerful image it was.)

Ugh. I think you're right, bon, there's no way to fight him on this that doesn't turn ugly. But it'd be nice if there was a way to at least get him to understand what a jackass he's being (even if he still gets his way).