And it is this horrible horrible outcome that is seen as a fate worse than death in our society that totally pushes my buttons. Screaming, ranty, I want to kill something buttons.

Article on kids and happiness: [link]

To which I responded without really thinking "Oh good! Because we live on the fourth floor and I don't think he'd make it!"

t falls out fourth floor window laughing

I was about ready to sell my 4-year-old to the gypsies this afternoon in the library. Every other kid in there was being all quiet and docile, while mine ran wild while I trailed behind her sputtering about time outs and revoking library privileges.

Sigh. I'm that parent.

I think next week before the library run, I'm going to have to tell her that if she runs or shouts or refuses to stop playing with the puppet animals when I say it's time to get our books and check them out, we're immediately going home without our books, and that she'll lose library privileges for the next week. Because I don't like being That Parent.

The nadir of people's happiness came when children reached the ages of 12-16, and only recovered when they had flown the coop, he said.

Is this a big revelation to anyone who's ever met a teenager?

Is this a big revelation to anyone who's ever met a teenager?

Or watched the last few seasons of Angel?

I guess I'm destined to be a sad cautionary tale.

Me too but for other reasons. As Jennifer Cruisie wrote: you can be a good example or a horrible warning! I think I'm a horrible warning.

I LOVE the pic of Jilli and Princess Tickybox. So adorable. I wish Jilli lived closer so she could be Good Aunty for Noah and Grace.

Noah and I had dinner with Alibelle. Then we walked across the way to a new to me cupcake place. Worst Cupcake I've Had from a Non Grocery Store baker. I had two bites. She had two bites and we threw the rest away. Worker bee asked, "Did you like the cupcake?" as I'm' tossing the half eaten baked good into the trash.

"Nope" I replied blithely. "Not really. But it's no big deal."

He looked agog and didn't reply. Why ask if you aren't ready for the (to me) obvious answer.

Also, from that article,

"Parents tell me all the time that: 'My child is my greatest source of joy'," he said.

"My reply is that: 'Yes, when you have one source of joy, it's bound to be your greatest'.

The thing is, my children do bring me a lot of joy (and stress and worry). But so do cupcakes. And flannel pjs. And naps. and Yoga. I get lots of joy in my life. But I'm lucky!

Children have to be sources of joy because otherwise they would be left in baskets to be raised by wolves. Providing joy is a distinct evolutionary advantage.

In serious agreement with Jessica.

Did I mention the fall out of the plumber fiasco. We are now on day 5 and we finally connected with the plumber. Apparently the landlord needs to replace the entire pipe from house to street. Thus tearing up the beautiful yard for a bit and costing $5000.

I love this house and would consider saving to buy it (it was listed for sale when we moved in). Living in it is like a nice test drive.

Thanks for the link, billytea. That confirms what I believed about children, but I would love to see how the "happiness" of marriage varied by gender.

Don't get me wrong, I adore my fabulous, brilliant, beautiful nieces and nephews and have played a significant role in their lives since the day they were born. I wanted children in my twenties and then a switch just flipped one day and I no longer had any desire to sacrifice that much of my life.

I applaud those that do and manage to do it well, but I don't see how it should be a universal goal or some measure of success to pro-create.

I get a fuckload of joy out of other peoples' kids. Even when I've been the primary temporarily and they are doing shit like bloody headwounds and ADHD meltdowns that require full-body smackdowns.

I think I'd like being a parent. I'm one of those who doesn't fear it (until they are teenagers and then all bets are off!) but... I'm currently choosing to NOT be a parent. I allow for a change in that choice, though I don't see it likely, and often resent the "oh someday you will" shit. Very unlikely, in fact. I suspect I'd only have a kid because (and this sounds funky) someone I loved Like That really wanted one. Absent that, the drive ain't there.

But I'd really like to babysit your kids! I'm blown away that I got to see childbirth and flustered that I get to be proxy-godmother absent religion. Both things, I never expected to experience. But I've got lovely friends, and while I may not experience labor personally, I got to see a baby born. And hold him in my arms.

I've got lovely friends.