My experience completely and totally contradicts that. I think you'd find Jilli's does as well.

Yes, sadly. My con experiences were exactly like Plei's, with an added "bonus" of working at most of the cons, so I had to be a Cheerful And Pleasant Corporate Representative.

"Okay, check. Got yer random pictures of fairies with cat ears, got yer dudes selling low-grade fangs, got yer really boring panel that's not the one that was on the program, got yer Klingons, got yer drunken groper at 12 o'clock..."

I have been randomly (and repeatedly) groped while walking through dealers' rooms. I have had guys aim camcorders down the front of my top while I was talking to another customer at the WotC booth. I have had my arm grabbed and yanked as I was walking by because a random guy wanted me to stop and talk to him.

This sort of behavior isn't a rarity. Maybe someone trying to turn it into a social movement is, but the behavior isn't.

Heh. Maybe I need to get that sword I'm planning to buy as a writing trophy if I sell this book and wear it to the cons.

"Yes, it's a replica 1803-pattern French infantry officer's saber. If you want to know its significance, you'll need to read my book, now available for preorder on Amazon. Here's my card and a bookmark. Hey, watch the hands! Come any closer to the girls and I'll show you EXACTLY how sharp this thing is."

At ConFusion in particular, the behavior is/was a rarity. And while I know my non-existant boob boundaries make me an anomaly at best, I have never been grabbed, groped, harassed, fondled, or touched in any other inappropriate way that wasn't either instigated or approved by me.

In my experience shit like this is a real rarity.

That might be because you can't stand to be around anyone who's that big of a douchebag, so you never see what happens. It happened to me. I used to hang out at this one bar, and invited a friend along. She said that there were a lot of guys there that were really shitty to women. I said "I never saw that" and she said "of course not. It is very clear that you will clock or verbally eviscerate any dude who's a dick to you, so they leave you alone." I started looking, and she was right. I just never noticed.

eta: I've never been to a con, so I'm not saying this is or isn't true, just another perspective.

I used to hang out at this one bar, and invited a friend along. She said that there were a lot of guys there that were really shitty to women.

That is sometimes one of the most delicious things about people watching at Mr. Jane's bar. Not more than five minutes after being slimey to a girl at the bar, a newbie guy will almost always freak out when a gay guy looks him over or heavens forfend tries to talk to him.

I should mention that this recent stupidity won't stop me from going to conventions. I'm too contrary for that. It probably will make me feel more free to dispense with physical violence, though.

My con experience was Plei's, a generation or so earlier. It's not the only reason I stopped going to cons. There was also the traditional stupid fandom uproar (The con we ran was accused of being "too professional," which as far as I could tell meant that they were upset that nothing went wrong), plus the ex who left large conflagrations of burning bridges in his wake. The main reason was that I grew up and many of my fellow fans did not.

Back in my day, at least, there was a lot less assholishness at small cons. I think there are benefits to authors to the occasional con, in that you can hang out with other authors and get your name better known. To prepare, Susan, I'd suggest Sharyn McCrumb's Zombies of the Gene Pool.

Back in my congoing days I saw plenty of socially maladjusted behavior as well, though I don't recall seeing the sort of open handsy-ness Jilli describes. (Likely because the two women I attended cons with were either (1) constantly accompanied by a husband who looked like a professional wrestler, or (2) tall and imposing enough on her own that prospective gropers could figure out their chances of drawing back a stump.) The fun, funny, smart people were about the same proportion of the whole as in the world at large—it's just that the jackholes were of the Comic Book Guy variety rather than obnoxious football fans and the like.

We were told by the hotel that there was way less groping of the waitresses at our con than there had been at the Shriners' convention a few weeks earlier. I can believe it, since I was once heavily groped merely trying to work my way through a hotel lobby full of Shriners.

What MM says may well be true, but only reinforces my dislike of large groups of any ilk.

(Edited because I have no knowledge of the behavior of Shiners.)

meara- that is dumb. Even if you were disengaged, why do adult people "tattle".

I have been wondering about the term "cougar" applying to older women. is is based on how old the boy is relative to the woman, or just women over a certain age. This comes about because I was just daydreaming about Patrick Stump, who is 23!!!