I'd been thinking that since the WIP is an alternative history and therefore falls under the science fiction/fantasy umbrella, I should start going to some cons so I'll be in better touch with that market if/when the time comes. Now I'm REALLY not sure I wanna go there...

Ugh. Disgusting little assholes. I want a scooped blouse with "Do you feel lucky?" on it(Even though I hate the Dirty Harry thing; don't get me started.) In the wrong crowd, they could get shot doing that. Mostly by some dude protecting what's "his" but still.

AAAGH. Not a self-assessment, but assessment by others--just had a voicemail from the new boss saying he was told (by who, I don't know) that I seemed "disengaged" in training, and reminding me how it was important yadda yadda...seriously?? If this is about the diversity trainer who (a) was AWFUL and (b) gave the exact same presentation as I saw last week, then shove it. If it's about the REST of it? Fuck whoever reported me--at least if I wasn't eyes on the powerpoint, I was just vaguely doodling. I was NOT playing sudoku or checking email on my iphone like SOME people.

Generally I just SO don't need to seem like a shitty employee in my third week on the job, especially when my boss is in a different time zone than I am and can't see me work every day...

I hate when people judge what you "seem" like. It'd be one thing to say, "meara was disengaged during the training and here's why I say that." But when people say "seemed" or "it felt like" gah!

We are having a ginormous meeting here this afternoon. While I'm fairly sure I did nothing wrong, and in fact went above and beyond in a few places, some things just went a little bit awry. Catering was late. I was a minute or two late bringing part of the display because I didn't know I would have to (or find someone else to, but really?!?) cut it apart. Anyway, I'm trying to convince myself that i didn't screw the whole thing up and in fact did a really good job coordinating everything for having found out about all this on Friday.

Damn, see...it's this sort of shit that gives cons a bad name.

In my experience shit like this is a real rarity. Yes, there are skeevy asshats who will find any sort of inane excuse to pull this sort of shit, and yes there are enabling asshats who help them and yes they will come up with all sorts of pseudo-intellectual psychobabble horseshit justification as to why their fucktard behavior is not only acceptable but desirable...but you'll get the same shit at a Shriner's convention, or business convention.

In my experience (and I've been going to these things for ZOUNDS years), most of the folk are fun, funny, smart people who go to cons to get their geek on with like-minded nerds. There is good conversation on a variety of subjects, good beer, dancing...it's a blast and a half and it pains me to see that this jackhole shit-dribbler is staining the image of the sf con.

I am NOT defending this guy's actions, I hope that's clear. I would personally like to attach a long rope to him, defenestrate the fucker and pull him back up so I could defenestrate him again. He's a skeev of the highest order and I can only hope his genitals rot off and drop down the toilet.

But Susan...this guy is not the norm, seriously. So don't decide to not attend cons based on him and his cronies. There are a ton of folk who would dig on your counter-factual history WIP...it's a favorite subject of conversation in the hospitality suite. (Counter-factual history in general, that is. Once yours is finished and published they'll talk about yours.)

First of all, that's bullshit. No one knows you well enough, and it's shitty for him to do that based on one person's opinion. Reply with "I would be interested to know who told you that. They may have thought that during the diversity presentation, which was the same presentation I'd already seen."

Well, he'd left a voicemail, so he may not have wanted to go into detail. And when I called back just now, got HIS voicemail, so I (think!) said something like I'm sorry it was percevied that way, I didn't feel like I was, my classmates didn't feel I was, but perhaps it was the diversity training which was exactly the same as we saw last week, and the trainer we did have some issues with (true--it wasn't just me, I discussed with the other class members).

There are only seven of us in class, so it's not like you can truly tune out! I'm just annoyed that he gets a bad report on me before I've really had a chance to convince him I kick ass. And getting denied unemployment (which was the OTHER fun voicemail--I get to pay everything back, yippee) has me panicking that I'll lose this job and become poor and homeless.

I'm at that stage where I feel stupid for being so upset about it yesterday. But I think it hit a lot of women in a really, really uncomfortable place.

I was at a concert by myself last night, sitting in the balcony. I started getting surrounded by men -- men who weren't doing anything other than sitting there, and in fact, I told myself that dudes who were going to see freaking Iron & Wine probably weren't the type to harass, plus Security was present -- and yet I got all tensed up. I felt stupid for getting tensed up, but the reality is that I have very good reasons for anxiety.

I hate being made to feel stupid for getting upset about something that really is a problem in my daily life. I'm constantly making decisions based upon the potential for sexual assault, whether it's a low-level warning buzz in the back of my head to full-on terror.

I don't care what this guy does with other consenting adults at a convention. What makes me so angry that I want to punch people is that he wanted to turn it into some kind of social movement. That's where it's going to go spectacularly wrong, because fandom is made up of people.

There's a reason why I don't go out dancing or hang out much in bars anymore, and I don't want conventions to turn into the same kind of space, where it's acceptable to assume dudes can grope or even ASK to grope me just because I happen to be there.

Ugh, meara, I hate crap like that.

But Susan...this guy is not the norm, seriously. So don't decide to not attend cons based on him and his cronies.

I figured he wasn't. Maybe I just need to attend my first con or two with someone who knows the world and can help steer me to the counter-factual discussions and away from the crazy!

There are a ton of folk who would dig on your counter-factual history WIP...it's a favorite subject of conversation in the hospitality suite. (Counter-factual history in general, that is. Once yours is finished and published they'll talk about yours.)

From your mouth to God's ears! The thing about a counter-factual is it's inherently a gimmick, and I live in fear that someone else will think of the same change to the timeline I thought of before I can get it finished, polished, and ready to submit. Because now that I've thought of it it seems SO obvious that I can't believe no one has done it yet. As is, I'm a bit worried that I'll get, "Napoleonic-era alternative history? Why would we want THIS when Naomi Novik's books have all that and dragons too?"

In my experience shit like this is a real rarity.

My experience completely and totally contradicts that. I think you'd find Jilli's does as well.

For me, it *wasn't* a rarity. It was a fact of life at every single con. Maybe only a small percentage of each con, but it was still there.

"Okay, check. Got yer random pictures of fairies with cat ears, got yer dudes selling low-grade fangs, got yer really boring panel that's not the one that was on the program, got yer Klingons, got yer drunken groper at 12 o'clock..."

And me and my peeps, we'd be all, "Sheeeeeeeeeeet, con guys. What are you gonna do?"