So am I the only single buffistas who is like "yes, I want to date someone and have a partner adn damnit where are they?" Dude, i have a freakin' profeil on a dating site!

I love being part of a couple. Those five years in my mid-thirties when I was on my own were good years, but not as good as being with J. And although I don't think anyone should "settle," you gotta be careful of lists and ideals, especially the first few weeks. When I met J, ALL my female friends tried to warn me not to date him--tto many red flags. He was 6 years younger than I was, separated but not yet divorced, not sure he wanted to be in a relationship, smoked like a chimney, was a workaholic, blahblahblah. He was also smart, honest, fun, caring and kind. He's still 6 years younger, but all the other "red flags" have changed over time, while the good qualities have stayed and grown.

He's still 6 years younger

Yeah, I keep hoping S will catch up on me one of these years, but NOoo.

ow! Owen! {{cashmere}} also - box is away. it's pretty big...

Owen! Happy birthday, and stop freaking out your mom!!!

So am I the only single buffistas who is like "yes, I want to date someone and have a partner adn damnit where are they?" Dude, i have a freakin' profeil on a dating site!

This is... a whole lot of issues for me. For a while I wanted to find someone and be married again, damn it, because I liked being married and having that partnership. And then no, I liked being on my own, and then this whole thing with M, which is complicated, and there are times when I like how independent we are from each other, and times when I just want to be cohabiting again and know that when I come home, he'll be there. And I wonder if I'm settling, and if I should cast off and find someone else, and then I remember how much I love him and how much I know I can depend on him, and then I do the ::flappyhands:: thing.

Weekend- working on an annotated bibliography. Hanging out with Tom and Taz. Not going to Columbus.

I did not and do not plan on reading the MARRY HIM article, but I have read the snippets here and the comments.

I often say how the idea of having to share decision making for my life with another adult does not interest me at all, but this..

I decided to have a child on my own and now I wish I had a partner to share the brute labor of child care, so I am all sour grapes.

has been my mindset more than once in the past year.

Despite what I said above, I think I would like being in a relationship, but I don't want to have to go looking for one and I kinda hate meeting new people, so I also realistically know it is not on the horizon. I also do not mind being single. If space were not such an issue in New York, I would seriously consider looking for a room & board for childcare assistance person.

Little League this weekend. Practice on Saturday, game on Sunday. Emmett's arriving after midnight on Saturday so he should be a limp puddle of protoplasm behind the plate.

And although I don't think anyone should "settle," you gotta be careful of lists and ideals, especially the first few weeks.

This. The part in the article about living with someone you don't like just in order to share chores is kind of ridiculous. But I think it's a good point that when you find someone who is good for you, you will worry that you're settling. The person you love is not going to be someone you will want to proudly introduce to the 17-year-old you, because 17-year-old you thought you were going to marry Prince William. It makes me kind of crazy when real-life single friends dismiss guys because they are different from the romantic ideal. So to the extent the article is trying to urge not doing that, I agree.

On the other hand, I think most women easily get over the settling thing, and if you're single and looking it's probably not because you're crazy or unrealistic.

There aren't just pre-electronic, they're pre-electric, calculators.

Isn't that an abacus?

Didja look? It's all about the gears, baby--steampunk all the way.

The last guy I turned down was months and months ago, and I demurred because he wasn't interesting. I don't consider that to be something to settle on--the only thing that separated him from the pack was that he found me interesting. Was the converse too much to ask? I have been told that, yes, it is too much to ask. But I'd like to keep my self respect. It could come in handy down the road sometime.

I can't remember the last time I even thought about a romantic ideal as being applicable to my life.

So to the extent the article is trying to urge not doing that, I agree.

Very little extent, though. Mostly it's about sleeping with your childcare provider.

And although I don't think anyone should "settle," you gotta be careful of lists and ideals, especially the first few weeks.

I think it depends on what the red flag is, and how much it matters to you to be a part of a couple. Unreasonably high standards are only unreasonable to the point where they're making you more miserable than the alternative.